Ep 16: Traveling Beyond the Guidebook with Beth Schillaci
In this episode, Christine welcomes Beth Schillaci, a longtime friend and the podcaster behind 'Travel Beyond the Guidebook.' Beth shares insights into her podcast, which focuses on finding and exploring quirky roadside attractions, theme parks, and other unique travel destinations that cater to personal passions.
They discuss the adjustments of becoming empty nesters, memorable travel experiences like visiting Paris, China, and numerous U.S. road trips, and the fun of uncovering unexpected places such as Dinoland in Virginia and various speakeasies. Beth also hints at upcoming podcast episodes featuring Taylor Swift locations in New York, Cincinnati highlights, and a traveler's perspective on Norway and Scandinavia. The episode concludes with a light-hearted discussion on nostalgic food trails and childhood traditions.
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Connect with Beth on Facebook @theroamingyeti and on Instagram @theroamingyeti
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Christine Van Bloem/Host
00:00
Hey guys, chris here, I just wanted to give you a little heads up that we have a great conversation in this podcast today, but the language can get a little salty here and there. Just wanted you to know. Welcome to the Empty Nest Kitchen, where we're finding fun in the kitchen now that the kids have flown the coop. I'm Christine Van Bloem, a cooking teacher with over 25 years of experience, here to show you tips, tricks and joy in your kitchen, all while trying something new. Let's get cooking. Oh, happy day. I am so excited. I have to tell you. I just love doing this so much.
00:45
I meet the coolest, most interesting, most fun women of a certain age and today I've got the fabulous Laura Oro with me. Hey, laura, hey, hey, how are you, my friend? Oh my gosh, I am so excited. So I have to tell you I'm sure Laura's gonna chip in on this, but we were both doing an online workshop because Laura does a lot of public speaking. I want to do more public speaking and we're in this group and you know they're all the little boxes on the screen. I was like Do I know her? Do I? Is that so funny? And then Laura sent me an email and it was her.
LauraAuraGuest
01:23
So welcome aboard, thank you. You know it's such a small world because I think I remember when, in one of the live videos, you know when she was saying, you know where are you from, and I saw Frederick Maryland and I was like, oh my gosh, like that's literally a stone throw away for me and and then I reached out to a friend to to talk about, like say, hey, I'm, I'm full time speaking now Do you have any connections?
01:47
And she recommended you. And then I was like holy shit, we're in the group together and like I don't know. Just look, timing is always on our side.
Christine Van BloemHost
01:55
Isn't that so funny? And I know we'll get to. But I knew in your previous business life you had done some work for a couple of friends of mine, including Julie Gaver, yes, and Heather Tidings. I think you did Heather.
02:11
Yeah, you did some stuff with her, absolutely and just so talented. So when Laura reached out, I was like bring it here, baby, let's do this thing. So, and full disclosure, laura actually has a fantastic podcast of her own that I listened to before we even actually met. So do me a favor, tell me, and tell my three and a half listeners what it is that you do.
LauraAuraGuest
02:44
I love all three and a half and four and a half of you Listen.
Christine Van BloemHost
02:47
I love it.
LauraAuraGuest
02:49
Every podcast, every adventure, every goal starts somewhere right it's like the Gutsy podcast started with three and a half listeners too. So, I love it. So who am I? Long story short, I am Laura Ora. I am a speaker and a coach, and I primarily focus on helping women to learn how to stop settling and start going after the shit they actually want. Oh and so a lot of that has to do with, you know, learning. Learning how to stop overthinking, learning how to stop overcomplicating. We taught this stuff right, it's just like it's like paint by number.
03:27
You just kind of you pick one and you kind of figured it out along the way, right. And so you know I've actually been in business now for almost 17 years, not doing this full time, but my, my previous career was in branding, as you mentioned. Yep, I ran a branding agency for 16 and a half years.
Christine Van BloemHost
03:45
And so good. I mean really I just love your. I know that's a different world now, but your vibe and your aesthetic is so good and so with the times. But doesn't feel like you're trying to be with the times, if that makes sense does and I appreciate that.
LauraAuraGuest
04:04
You know I, I had the privilege of working with some super talented people along the way and um always had just really incredibly talented designers on my team. So you know, it was um. I thought I would run that business till the day I died. To be honest with you, girl, you and me both listen, I, I just, I just really did. In the last couple of years have just been so up and down and you know, when COVID hit, there were big, hard decisions that had to be made, made and things changed overnight and, and you know, honestly, I, I had to, I had to let everybody go right, which was a horrible experience but the worst, it was 1000% necessary but absolutely terrible.
04:46
But you know, I packed everything up and I moved my my, my big iMac back down into my basement at home and I can remember sitting there one day thinking, what do, what does Laura actually want? And it was, I didn't realize it was the most profound question that I would ever ask myself, because it has led me now to where I am today. So it started this slow unraveling and this awakening and realization that, like I don't actually want to do this anymore, yeah, yes, yeah, I, you.
Christine Van BloemHost
05:23
I had the same kind of experience right where I lost the lease to my cooking school and I had had it for 15 years and I had to really like, really dig deep and I got to tell you I had to lick my wounds for a long time. Did you go through that, or you? I mean, you seem super positive, you seem very focused to me. Did you feel that way when you had to shut your space down?
LauraAuraGuest
05:59
I mean when I was drinking at 10 am and sobbing uncontrollably, I did not feel very positive and focused. I mean, that's just the honest truth behind it, you know what I mean it was no it was. It was ugly and scary and terrifying. And you know, I for a long time I was in survival mode with it Because at that point I just had to. I had to make it work to take care of my family mode with it, because at that point I just had to.
06:26
I had to make it work to take care of my family right like that was the honest, the honest truth behind that. And once that started to come up and to come out, you know the I got the business back in a healthy place. I thought I got myself back in a healthy place but, plot twist, not so much. Yeah, um, there's a ripple effect. That happens with that type of trauma. You know what I mean and I do, but I think that what you mentioned and thank you for those kind words is, I think that that's just like my, that's my neutral right to be positive and focused, because what's the alternative? I agree, what is the fucking alternative?
Christine Van BloemHost
07:02
like yeah, yeah.
LauraAuraGuest
07:04
I get off of my track, I get discouraged, I get upset, I experience everything that everyone else does, but I just have this like deep, deep, deep belief that I don't have to settle yeah and that's.
Christine Van BloemHost
07:19
I mean, that's solid, that is really good it.
LauraAuraGuest
07:24
You know it's funny. I didn't realize that while building the branding agency, that I was actually planting the seeds for this career as a speaker.
Christine Van BloemHost
07:33
But I will tell you, looking at your career, because I once I saw the beautiful work you put out, you know, of course, I knew who you were and I was checking it out, but to me this seems so natural, just as a career progression, like from the very outside point of view, you know, seeing the stuff that you did and seeing how you ran your agency and everything to now. It seems like such a natural progression to me.
LauraAuraGuest
08:00
Thank you, I appreciate that I didn't realize how natural it was honestly. Thank you, I appreciate that I didn't realize how natural it was honestly until we just did that workshop together right.
08:07
Just very recently and I went on a scavenger hunt on my computer because I'm like I'm pretty sure I have pictures of me speaking. Oh my God, wouldn't you know? I was like, holy shit, my entire career has led me to this, from from leading the team to hosting these really big events called leader cast. We held them here locally in our community to, um, you know, being president of organizations and and speaking at workshops, and I was like, oh my gosh, I've literally been planting the seed and I think that sometimes you know our purpose. A lot of people are like oh, how do I find my purpose? How do I find my purpose? It's like I think sometimes you just have to do, you just have to experiment and try and play, and then all of a sudden one day you're like, oh, there it is.
Christine Van BloemHost
08:56
That's the thing, I think that takes a lot of chutzpah right to figure that out, and I think there's kind of this whole thing about where I know I am waiting sometimes for somebody to come and save me right and tell me what to do and say, oh, this is the right next move for you. And I've just finally, at you know, being very young, practically a teenager myself.
09:26
You know I have just finally figured out nobody's coming. I have fantastic support, right. I always have had incredible support and I think you probably do as well. I know you've been married for a hot second there, yeah, so good support. But if I don't take action. Then I wasn't drinking at 10am, but I was laying on the couch, I kid you not. I think I was prone for a year and a half. I really do with the I was. My vice was social media scrolling on social media.
LauraAuraGuest
10:00
Yeah, it's a. That's a slippery slope, isn't it? I mean, it's very, it's very accessible, yeah it's it's isn't it. I mean it's very accessible. Yeah, it's right there and right in front of us.
Christine Van BloemHost
10:07
Well, you can justify it right. If you have a business, any kind of a business, you can justify it Because you're looking like I'm always looking for new information, I'm always checking the trends, but I could do that in 15 minutes not the much longer that it takes.
LauraAuraGuest
10:26
Absolutely. You know, it's such a journey, right, like figuring out who we are and what we actually want and embracing ourselves. You know, I asked myself that question of what does Laura actually want, and I realized that I hadn't asked myself that in a long time, if ever.
Christine Van BloemHost
10:46
So what's the?
LauraAuraGuest
10:46
answer? Well, the answer was Laura wanted to speak. Laura wanted to impact people in a bigger way. Laura wanted to travel and to see new places and to hug people and watch them have aha moments. But I was hidden behind a computer in a room.
Christine Van BloemHost
11:03
Yes.
LauraAuraGuest
11:04
Yeah, and you know, it took a couple of years to get to the point, but I just got to this. I literally got to a breakdown moment where I'm like, okay, the business, the branding agency, it was working right. We had great clients, I had a good team, everything on paper was wonderful, but on the inside I felt like I was dying, freaking, dying, Like the just energy was sucking out of me. I was, um, I felt defeated, I felt uninspired. I found out that I wasn't marketing it anymore, I wasn't pushing it. And you know, one of the tipping scales was somebody asked me to speak, which normally I light up about and she said Can you come speak about branding? And I was like I don't and I turned it down.
Christine Van BloemHost
11:48
You turned it down turned it down, Okay so did that? Did that? Did that poke its head out to you immediately and you said oh my gosh, I turned this down, something's up. Or did it take you longer to figure that out?
LauraAuraGuest
12:03
It happened fairly quickly because I was like okay, I mean I'm very introspective, so I love to just like analyze myself and my thoughts.
12:14
I find it fascinating and I was like, okay, I'm reading this email and they're inviting me to do this. Why do I feel like I want to go run away? Why do I feel like I want to put my head in the sand? Why do I feel, like almost half, like I want to cry? And so I'm like, okay, what's that all about? Like body talk to me, mind talk to me, like what's going on, and it's like I don't want to be known for branding for the rest of my life yeah.
12:41
I want to be known for helping people say yes to themselves and to come alive again and to start doing the things that they really want to do.
Christine Van BloemHost
12:50
I love that so much. I I you know. We are so similar, we're we're similar creatures.
LauraAuraGuest
12:57
Yeah, I love your energy, by the way, Thanks, it's super authentic.
Christine Van BloemHost
13:01
So naturally you know my mom always said, uh. Once I was an adult she said Christine Marie, I swear, if they had medication back when you were a kid, you would have been on all of it.
13:14
And I'm like mom, right, but excuse me. So we have such similar stories. Because I had the cooking school and it was thriving, it was really going, I had the most incredible staff ever, and still it would take me a while to pull together menus, because that's not what I loved, right. Or it would take me, you know, I was ready for a shift but I didn't like somebody else telling me I had to make the shift. You know that was kind of the bummer for me, but I just I love this whole vibe that you're doing so okay. So now it's today. The fabulous Laura Ora is out. I know you work as an alignment coach. What do you do for your clients?
LauraAuraGuest
14:04
Yeah, so I help them figure out what they want, who they are, what they actually want and then give them practical ways to actually do it.
Christine Van BloemHost
14:14
I love that because, listen, so I was perusing your website, of course, and it basically some of the quotes I found on there are saying you're kind of like the tough love girly, but with all the support and did I actually just use the word girly in a description? You absolutely did. Look at this. Who am I? Oh my gosh, pathetic. I can hear my daughter cringing already, so you know what.
LauraAuraGuest
14:43
You are right, though I am the tough love and I got to tell you that is a part of me that I had I had to let her come out. I did not always let her come out because you know of childhood conditioning, using my voice and being myself was not safe, it was not accepted and I was shamed for it, and so learning how, oh yeah. Oh that's a whole podcast on its own.
Christine Van BloemHost
15:12
Well, and I just had somebody say to me I know I'm too much, I know I'm too much, and I had to really think about it and go back and say Listen, you are not too much. You are who you are and the people that love you love you for who you are.
LauraAuraGuest
15:31
You be who you are and don't try to tamp it down yes, absolutely, and you know I I just started to realize that the more that I am myself, the easier things get. The happier, the happier I am and the more I attract people that appreciate me as I am okay, hold up.
Christine Van BloemHost
15:51
I want you to say that all again, because I, this is, this is so vital. I kid you not, I like I eat this stuff now. I used to. I used to always be like whatever you know, give me the woo, woo, but what was it Say? Can you say it again? Yeah?
LauraAuraGuest
16:10
The more that I am myself, yes, the easier things get. Yes, the happier I am and the more I attract people that appreciate me for who I am. I mean it is listen. I made a tiktok the other day and I pissed a couple people off, but I find like I always piss people off in a positive direction, if that makes any sense like yeah.
16:31
And that's where a little bit of my tough love comes into play, because I get in your brain in a different way. Right, like most people, they sugarcoat and they dance around and they do the fluffy thing and they do the quick wins and all this and I'm like let's, okay, let's, let's peel back the whole ass onion right now. Right, Like let's go deep. But I said that it's actually not hard to be yourself. What is hard is all the shit that you keep doing to avoid being who you really are.
Christine Van BloemHost
16:59
Okay, I wish there was a way to insert the mind blown emoji right now.
LauraAuraGuest
17:04
Because sound effects in the background.
Christine Van BloemHost
17:06
I'm telling you, I'm telling you All right, say that one again too.
LauraAuraGuest
17:10
Yes, so vital, vital it's not hard to be yourself. What is hard is all the things that you're trying to do to not be yourself. Oh my gosh it's, it's I'm having a moment.
Christine Van BloemHost
17:25
Hey, that's okay to go and like have some deep breathing when we are off of this, because you are just hitting me in every place today and I have to say, being everybody knows I'm 56, right, I am, I am in charge, baby, I love my age, I embrace it.
LauraAuraGuest
17:44
Love I am super about it.
Christine Van BloemHost
17:45
I mean, what's the alternative right? And 20 something me was not great and 30 something me was pretty stressed out and 40 something me. Bless her heart, you know, but it's, you know, I just I love where I am right now, but you are just hitting it. Just keep going, I'm just so into it, laura.
LauraAuraGuest
18:11
Yeah, no, I love, I love it and it. And I love your response too, because this is what I love about the work that I'm doing now. And, by the way, when you start to say yes to yourself, you actually embrace who you really are and do the things that you want to do. You impact people a different way. You shine brighter, you vibrate differently, you show up in the world differently and that ripple effect you will never know the effect of.
18:36
And so when I get to experience even a conversation like this, where it's like all of a sudden, doors in your brain are opening in a new way, that's what doing, what I love and doing it my way has the possibility of impacting people through right, because it's, it's this combination we got. We just, we fight ourselves every, every step of the way, and there's so many reasons why we we've been taught to. But damn, when you just really start to embrace yourself as is it I don't know it, know it it literally changes your world. Like, yeah, they'll talk about the stress goes down, the anxiety goes down, the, the worry, the overthinking, the, over analyzing the, the who, what, when, where, why, the, the shoulds, I mean. I mean I could talk seven hours about it, right, the? The goal is to just be you.
Christine Van BloemHost
19:36
So this is. I think it boils down to authenticity, right.
LauraAuraGuest
19:42
Yes.
Christine Van BloemHost
19:43
Yeah, so somebody comes to you as a new client. Can you walk me through, like, how you work with someone, because I know that you're um, you are working primarily with women.
LauraAuraGuest
19:57
that are what 40, 45 plus yeah, most of my clients are 40 to 65 ish okay, so how, like?
Christine Van BloemHost
20:06
how are you working with someone?
LauraAuraGuest
20:08
yeah, so a couple of different ways. From a tactical standpoint, I do one-on-one coaching which is just you, me and your thoughts and we get to shift through those. I also have a community. It's called the Gutsy Collective and it's a space for women to come in to get support. I give them audio lessons so you can kind of listen to it on the go and you know in your life. But also there's a community aspect and accountability and actual, like tangible learnings. And then of course I have the Gutsy podcast, which is a free resource for everybody to get some of that brain ninja-ness from me to start cracking those doors open.
Christine Van BloemHost
20:48
Such a good name, the whole Gutsy thing. I just I think it suits you and I just think it's so good, thank you.
LauraAuraGuest
20:57
I, I'm a fan of it as well, so you know when. So that's kind of the the tactical portion, but you know a lot of it is. It is leaning into the things that you've likely been avoiding okay, what's something you leaned into that you were avoiding? Oh which one.
Christine Van BloemHost
21:18
Pick one. I know you work with a lot of female entrepreneurs and we were saying, before we hit record, I think that the emptiness stage is the most incredible time for a woman to start a business, right, because you have all of that experience behind you, things, some of the pressure is coming off right, all the after school activities, all of that stuff. That pressure comes off and I think it's a miraculous time. I really I'm actually going to do. I have a podcast coming up on how to start a food business. Love it, yes, it's so good, but pick one of yours. That was related to work, so I'm going to put you on the spot.
LauraAuraGuest
22:08
No, that's okay. I'm just thinking I'm like oh, what's maybe one of the most relevant ones? So I think I'm going to use the example that I started to talk about earlier, and it was my, it was my voice, how I talk, how I show up in the world, so the thing that okay so here's another mind fuckery moment for you that's what I call these little one one liners is the thing that you want the most is often behind the thing that you resist the most. Would you like that again?
Christine Van BloemHost
22:38
Yeah, you know I'm like you know, my brain is a sieve. Give it to me another time, because I just really I love this stuff.
LauraAuraGuest
22:46
I couldn't agree more. The thing that you want the most is often behind the thing that you resist the most thing that you want the most is often behind the thing that you resist the most.
23:00
So you can you can stew on that a little bit. So for me, what that looked like, the thing that I wanted the most was to speak and to be seen and heard and to impact people in a much larger way than I felt that I was currently doing. How I was resisting that was not showing up online, not making content, dimming down my voice, talking the way that quote unquote. Professionals should talk right, like cleaning up my language.
Christine Van BloemHost
23:28
Yeah, and you're a little. I mean, you're a little cursy, but you're a little intentionally cursy.
LauraAuraGuest
23:34
Yes, I like that Intentionally cursy.
Christine Van BloemHost
23:36
I know, do I sound like I'm 94 years old right now? No, I love it. I love it. I totally do.
LauraAuraGuest
23:41
There was just all of this like filtration that I was putting myself through and not and it wasn't even intentional, it's just. It was just what I thought that I had to do to be received as a professional, Like, oh, if people are going to take me seriously, I can't show up, you know, wearing no makeup, saying saying fuck or shit or damn or hell.
Christine Van BloemHost
24:03
Right, like I can't do those things.
LauraAuraGuest
24:05
Then, all of a sudden, I'm like this I'm not doing these things because I don't. I don't like doing it like this. Well, what don't I like doing about it? It doesn't feel natural to me. So I just slowly but surely started to like peel back my weird layers and if you scroll through any of my videos, I might have makeup on, I might not. I talk about poop. I'm not wearing a brawl in some of them. You know I have very colorful cursi language, like I. Just I just started to do that and I started feeling more whole yeah and I started wanting to do it more.
24:43
Yeah, and so I was. The thing I was resisting was trying to show up and be seen and heard as somebody that I was not yeah and when. When you can crack that code and realize what that route is, then you can start making intentional decisions to make, make a change. We are so similar. We really need to do things together.
Christine Van BloemHost
25:03
We really do we really do that's so funny. Well, I will tell you, because I I love to do like little Instagram stories, but I only do them when I'm I'm such a princess. I only really do them when I'm feeling the vibe right and my.
25:21
Thing is about food and and I don't want to say wellness so much, but it's like if there's something going on, I just pop on and again I may not have the bra one. You know, I rarely wear makeup unless I'm going out, because, boy, my hair will. If you could see what I look like right now, if you guys could see this I went to Pilates, thank you guests and my hair is thinning a little so up top, so it's all fuzzy and I I look atrocious, but Laura's very sweet to not gag, oh my gosh.
LauraAuraGuest
25:57
You know I love it and I think that we're in a time frame, finally, where it's like people, people want that yeah right the, the days of perfectly polished, perfectly curated curation.
Christine Van BloemHost
26:11
Yes, it's like.
LauraAuraGuest
26:13
I can smell fakeness 10,000 miles away. I think everybody can now yeah yeah, and it's, it's, it's one of those things. But you know this, this phase where you know that like 40 to 60, 45 to 65 range, you know, I think one of the coolest things about this age is like your level of give a damn, just dissipates it plummets, it just dissipates. You know a lot of the women that I work with. They have been everything to everyone yeah their entire existence.
26:44
Right, they've put themselves last, they've made sure the kids had the thing and the spouse had the thing, and they, they did all the right things in their job and all the stuff. And it's all of a sudden, I don't know what happens, if it's like a moment that everyone has, or if it's a slow, gradual or a combination of the two, but it's like all of a sudden I don't want to do that anymore.
Christine Van BloemHost
27:03
Yeah, I have a theory on this.
LauraAuraGuest
27:05
Oh, do tell me I have a theory on this.
Christine Van BloemHost
27:06
Yes, All right, and I'm going to say it and you're gonna go oh my gosh, that's totally right. So my theory on this is that once you hit, you know, a certain age range, let's see, you have had enough real stuff happen in your life that all the other stuff you finally realize that just doesn't matter. Right, when you have gone through an illness of a child or an illness of a spouse, or the loss of a parent or a loss of both parents, or a freaking pandemic where you lose your business and that doesn't affect you, you had said you had to lay off everyone, you had to close that end of things down. When you have gone through the real stuff, I think that is when you stop caring what other people think so much.
LauraAuraGuest
27:59
Yeah, I back that up 10,000 times. Yeah because it just it's perspective. Right, you just realize, like you really do start to realize, like I actually only have this one life here. Right, I've got one of these, and and the time starts flashing at you and the perspective is flashing at you and it's like, okay, enough is enough, I'm going to come back to it. What do I actually want?
Christine Van BloemHost
28:27
Yeah.
LauraAuraGuest
28:28
Right, and it's just. It's so cool to watch these women that just completely liberate themselves.
Christine Van BloemHost
28:35
Yeah.
LauraAuraGuest
28:36
They liberate their minds, they are having fun again. They just are alive in a different way. Their give a damn is just completely gone, but they're the most generous, beautiful, nurturing humans that you'll ever meet right.
Christine Van BloemHost
28:53
Do you think that this ties into the invisibility thing? You know how they say as women get older, they become invisible. And I remember reading something and some young woman again bless her heart, I think she was in her 30s. She's like I won't be invisible, I'm going to do this and this and this. And it's like oh sweet pea, it doesn't have a darn thing to do with what you're doing. The invisibility isn't your choice. Women don't choose to recede into the background. But I think the invisibility is kind of freeing, right.
LauraAuraGuest
29:31
Yeah, I mean from the standpoint of like all I don't know.
29:38
I just feel like women live lives, like all roads lead back to them and that is exciting and also very daunting at the same time, because it's such a weight of responsibility and, like you mentioned earlier, when some of those responsibilities start to shift off in a way I don't know it's just like a whole new part of you comes live. But honestly, I feel like I'm on this mission right now to help women start to experience that even earlier yes, I I, if you could get well, I think gen z may have a little more together here I. I think they're spicy in a good way, like the best way, I, I love they definitely have the.
Christine Van BloemHost
30:21
I don't give a crap thing, but you know you know, they weren't they.
LauraAuraGuest
30:24
That didn't just inherently happen. I have to believe that they saw what people are modeling now.
Christine Van BloemHost
30:32
Yeah.
LauraAuraGuest
30:32
And what you know women of all ages have dealt with prior and people in general of all ages have have dealt with and they're like okay, I see that we're not doing that this time and I think it's so exciting. You know, my son is 17 and his whole group I don't know, it's just a different. They have different confidence, they move differently like one of the things I'm so proud and and I will absolutely take credit my husband and I take credit for this because he did not learn this shit on his own.
31:04
We've really always taught him to to speak up and use his voice and to ask questions and ask for what he needs yeah he accidentally locked himself out of his bank account the other day and I said okay, you have to call the bank and and work with them. They're going to ask you some information to unlock it. He didn't hesitate, he picked up the phone and he called the bank. And there are like one or two generations that would put that off for weeks and deal with the consequences and suffer through not being able to access their online banking because they don't want to make a fucking phone call. You know what?
Christine Van BloemHost
31:39
I mean.
LauraAuraGuest
31:39
So I don't know, it's just, I think that that's naturally happening, but I also want to give several generations credit for setting the bar to show them that it's possible to do that and I'm going to give you credit too.
Christine Van BloemHost
31:54
I'm telling you that is a thing I remember when we first took my son out to a restaurant and he was I don't know, maybe he was three or something. That wasn't the first time we took him, but when he was old enough to communicate and I was getting ready to order for him and my husband, who is a high school English teacher now with like 34 years of experience, so he knows kids he was like no, he has to order it. And I was like babe, come on, that's going to take forever. And he said he has to order it. And I was like babe, come on, that's gonna take forever. And he said he has to order it. And my kids always had to ask for their own things, do their own things, and my husband, john, set us on that path. It was totally him. And then I mean I, I towed the line there, but you know it was, they're so good and they don't hesitate.
32:42
I mean I still remember my daughter saying, how do you make a doctor's appointment? But I think asking how is way different from saying please make.
LauraAuraGuest
32:49
Oh, absolutely.
Christine Van BloemHost
32:50
Yeah.
LauraAuraGuest
32:50
You know they I think we have to remember that like they're eventually going to grow up and be adults. You know, shocker. Yeah, you know, I don't know, it's just, it's just it's. It's cool to see the younger kids now just like their tolerance for for crap in the world in their relationships and communication. You know they, they were born into a world knowing what boundaries were. Yeah, um, I'm sorry we, I don't know about you, but that was not a conversation happening in my house if anything it was.
33:27
It was skating over, dancing over, you know, throwing around boundaries left and right. You know that would that never would have flown. Ah, in the homes that we all grew up in and you were so right. It's just cool that they you know the like I. I have a brand new niece who was just born this morning and I'm like she's born into a world that knows what that is immediately yeah it's just gonna always be part of her world.
Christine Van BloemHost
33:51
It's crazy, it's great. Okay, all right. So let me ask you this do you have any tips, like anything in general, for a woman who's you know, mid fifties?
34:05
I don't know any of those you know, just per chance, you have somebody who's in her mid fifties and she is ready. She's so ready to really figure out what she wants for this next phase of her life. Right, how, how would you, what tips would you give her? Or what's one great tip you would give her to help her find this authenticity, to find this confidence way deep down in her bones?
LauraAuraGuest
34:40
I love this. So there's a couple of different ways I could. I could take you on this one. Okay, I'm gonna do both, that's okay.
Christine Van BloemHost
34:48
Yes, take me to church.
LauraAuraGuest
34:51
Take me to church.
Christine Van BloemHost
34:53
I cannot sing.
LauraAuraGuest
34:54
Hosea. But so the first thing that you know anytime that I am sitting with a woman and I ask her what, what do you actually want? It's usually a blank stare. It's I have no idea. I've never thought about that, no one's ever asked me that before. I've never had the time to sit and really even ponder that, and so I'm gonna ask everybody that's listening all three and a half, and so many, so many thousands more that are coming right, because I know so many more are coming to to retro, to retro come back and listen to this, to ask yourself that question what do I actually want? And if it feels weird or odd or uncertain, yeah.
35:40
So this is your opportunity not to beat that up, not to make that mean anything, but to get curious. I want you to start being curious. Tap back into who you were as a child, who you were as a, as a teen, right, when you were exploring things and and curious about stuff and you were playful. I want you to really start tapping back into those parts of yourself, because those never went away, they just got put away. And if you start to pull them back out and invite them to be a part of your journey instead of hiding them, they'll give you a lot of information.
36:25
And so if you just tap into, like, okay, if you're like, I literally have no idea what I want, okay, well, what's an area of your life or career or business that you're not loving, that's draining you, that doesn't feel fulfilling anymore, something that you hesitate on or procrastinate on? Let's identify the area, the direction that we're going to focus on first, because some women want to flip over the whole table of their life overnight, but that's not everybody's style. So let's start with one thing, right? Let's simplify it, let's focus on one thing, and then let's say I'll just say it's your job, your job, right? Maybe you've been at the same place for 25 years and it's sucking the soul out of you. Yeah, it recognize and acknowledge that. Okay, that's, that's the thing, that that's not feeling in alignment yeah well, what feels interesting to me, let me.
37:15
Let me look at what other options there are, what you know like. Give yourself that chance to be curious and to play with it and to let it come to you, instead of sitting down and forcing it to come out of you all right, okay, I love it. So that's one. The second one is I'm going to teach you a really simple method to be able to shift your thoughts in the moment okay, does that sound okay, it sounds exciting.
37:39
So, uh, number one thing that stops anybody from moving forward is themselves hands down, the thoughts that you have in your head, the overthinking, the overworrying, the analyzing, the need to have it all figured out. Yeah, oh yeah, let's talk about this generation of gals. I know who you are Raise his hand slowly.
Christine Van BloemHost
37:59
I need a plan.
LauraAuraGuest
38:00
I have to have all the details. I know how this works. So the trick is to be able to shift your thoughts so that you don't stay in the pattern, so that you can actually move forward. So it's an acronym, it's Aura, imagine that so clever?
Christine Van BloemHost
38:16
All right, give it to me A-U-R-A.
LauraAuraGuest
38:19
The intent is for you to get back into your energy, okay, back into yourself, and it's the very first one is A, which is awareness. So I want you to start getting really aware of what you're thinking, what you're saying to yourself, what you're feeling, where you're feeling it, right. So much of what's happening is subconscious and that means you don't even realize it's happening, which is what keeps you in the hamster wheel. Okay, so when you bring awareness, you literally turn on a different part of your brain, your conscious mind. That brings you back into a present moment. Oh, I'm saying I'm talking, I'm saying really bad things about myself. I'm, you know, I'm saying I'm talking, I'm saying really bad things about myself. I'm, you know, I'm like, not self-talk, that self-talk thing, like.
39:07
I'm beating myself up. I'm calling myself ugly. I'm saying that I'm too far behind. I'm feeling the tightness in my chest. My shoulders are starting to roll up into my ears right. I'm just noticing. Awareness is just about noticing. When you notice, you can do something about it. When you notice, you can do something about it. Otherwise, you stay in the hamster wheel.
Christine Van BloemHost
39:25
Okay.
LauraAuraGuest
39:26
So you go, then, from awareness to unpacking it. Unpacking it is that space of curiosity. I like to look at this like talking to, like a child, like your inner child. There's a softness, right If you think about getting down on their level, when a kid's having a big emotion, they're scared, they're worried, they're afraid. Do we want to yell at them and tell them that they're wrong? No, we want to comfort them, we want to nurture them. So I'm asking you to nurture yourself. I'm asking you to ask yourself, like what do I need? Where did this, this come from? And it's such a soft, gentle energy that really takes what initially was a probably a big, hard or scary thought and it starts to neutralize it.
40:14
After you've started to neutralize it, then you can go to r, which is to reframe it. This is where you are saying, okay, okay, what is what is actually possible? What am I actually capable of? Yeah, what is what is true or what could be? This is like tapping into your higher self, right? So this is your innate knowing, this is your clarity, this is your intuition. This is like the person you know that you are, but feel like you can't yet be. She has so much wisdom if you would just listen to her, and so, if you listen to her, she's gonna tell you like I, I can actually do this. I don't have to have all the answers. I, I can just take one step forward. It's okay to feel this way, right, you're just. It's reassurance of yourself. Then you can go to A, which is to take aligned action. This is where you get to choose to do something differently. Instead of staying in the wheel, instead of staying in the same pattern, you're now consciously choosing to move towards the thing that you want instead of away from it.
Christine Van BloemHost
41:19
So good, so good, all right. So A is for first A. Awareness. U is for unpack Yep, r is for reframe Yep, and second A is for action Aligned action, aligned action. Yes, really important, laura. That's so good. I love this. Thank you.
LauraAuraGuest
41:43
Oh my gosh, I'm glad it's helpful. It's a tool that I teach all of my students. I've got a free five-day audio that goes even more in depth. If you're interested, I can make sure you have the link.
Christine Van BloemHost
41:55
Yes, I totally want the link. And let me ask you this when can all of my three and a half listeners find you?
LauraAuraGuest
42:05
Yeah, so let's start with that. So if you go to lauraoracom forward slash foundations, I will send you five free audios. It's like a podcast teaching you each pillar of that method and it's got a worksheet and it's really in depth but very simplified. And then you'll be on my website so you can poke around there and learn about my coaching. And the Gutsy Collective is an incredible, incredible source for support and movement. And then the Gutsy Podcast. So if you're listening to this podcast, it tells me you like to listen to audio, so it's on all your favorite platforms, uh, and I can get in your brain and help you move some stuff around.
Christine Van BloemHost
42:48
That's so good, laura, you are just. You are inspirational and like. You know what you feel like. To me this is gonna sound really silly, but you feel like the base of a pyramid. You know what I mean. Like just like really sturdy, and there to support and there to help, and I just I don't know, I just I just love it.
LauraAuraGuest
43:12
Oh, that is one of the kindest things anyone has ever said and I thank you and I received that Thank you.
Christine Van BloemHost
43:19
Thank you, I love the. I received that. That's hard. I'm intentionally doing that, thank you. Thank you, I love the. I received that. That's hard.
LauraAuraGuest
43:23
I'm intentionally doing that. That's what I'm for.
Christine Van BloemHost
43:25
I just got goosebumps oh. Because, you know, because you're not supposed to say you know, it's like you're never. When somebody says, wow, you look great today, I'm always like yeah, I know, I tried.
LauraAuraGuest
43:37
Yes, I showered. I, you, yes, showered I you know put on some lipstick.
Christine Van BloemHost
43:45
You know you're supposed to say oh really, no.
LauraAuraGuest
43:47
Yes, you know, can't you see my jelly roll? Dismiss it down, downplay it, revert it back to somebody else yeah, I'm see that I am practicing that right now.
Christine Van BloemHost
43:53
That is one of the things that I, personally, am working on, so I think the three and a half listeners should say, uh, they receive it to something this week. I, I love.
LauraAuraGuest
44:03
Oh, that's a good challenge, a little challenge thing.
Christine Van BloemHost
44:06
I love that, All right. So my last question because you know, I call this the empty nest kitchen because I'm an empty nester, because I had the website empty nest kitchen, because I teach cooking classes and all that for empty nesters. But one of the things I really like to ask is what are you enjoying in your empty nest kitchen right now? You know what food, what's your sitch?
LauraAuraGuest
44:30
Oh, you know this is chicken salad. Yeah, I know it's so like I'm not even gonna downplay it, I don't know, it's just, it's simple. I like the texture. It's very versatile. Sometimes it's on lettuce, sometimes it's on chips, sometimes it's on a spoon. You know, like I don't know, it's just my nuts and stuff in it.
44:54
I will. I don't, I don't have it right now, but I'm open to it, you know. But I don't know. There's just something and also my body is receiving it well. So I have a history of food allergies and some gastro issues and stuff and my body's receiving it. So anytime I eat something and my body's not mad, I'm a fan. So chicken, chicken salad, I like it.
Christine Van BloemHost
45:16
So if I I'll tell you, I had to go to a funeral earlier this week for a great fella great fella, my husband's uncle and lived a very long and fulfilling life. But at the thing afterwards they kept it very simple. You know salads and sandwiches and that kind of thing which I just thought was lovely. I was so thrilled by that and they had the most incredible chicken salad sandwiches. It was up in Massachusetts they had, and it was just chicken salad on a roll and that roll was fantastic.
LauraAuraGuest
45:49
And that chicken salad.
Christine Van BloemHost
45:50
It didn't have anything fancy. Like I usually do mine with grapes and walnuts and tarragon. This was chicken salad. It was as simple as it gets and it was so fantastic. My brother-in-law and I were talking to the car as they were driving us to the airport and he's like that chicken salad was really good, wasn't it? I'm like, oh my gosh, it was too good.
LauraAuraGuest
46:13
See, you know, sometimes it literally is the most simplistic things that bring the most joy.
Christine Van BloemHost
46:18
It is, and I'll tell you what. What I have trash taste in some food, like I have. My brother says he loves that I can be super gourmet, but then the next thing I mean a hot dog from like 7-eleven. I haven't done that in a minute, but I always said I wanted to be buried with a number 10 can. Do you know what a number 10 can is?
LauraAuraGuest
46:38
I don't you actually probably do, you just don't know what a number 10 can is.
Christine Van BloemHost
46:40
I don't you actually probably do, you just don't know what's called this. But when you go to Costco or Sam's and those big cans, Okay yeah, that's called number 10, can. Okay, now you learned something.
LauraAuraGuest
46:52
Now, I know.
Christine Van BloemHost
46:53
And I always said I wanted to be buried with a number 10 can of nacho cheese. Oh my god. Because, first of all, that would be hilarious, because I always want to go for the funny, even when I'm gone, right, I just I think that'd be hilarious, but now I'm like, oh, I don't want to be buried, so you're gonna have to, like, pour out nacho cheese somewhere on my behalf.
LauraAuraGuest
47:16
I love it. And if you have, you know, a celebration, you'll have to have it in like a fountain, like nacho cheese in a fountain.
Christine Van BloemHost
47:23
Yes, yeah, yes, well, thank you.
LauraAuraGuest
47:27
It's all yours. I love that.
Christine Van BloemHost
47:28
That would be. That would be freaking hilarious. I love that. I am going to put all of Laura's contact info in the show notes. Look at me sounding so fancy with my show notes.
47:41
You got it. I'm gonna put all of laura's stuff there, and if you are looking for a little bit of alignment and you're feeling gutsy, then I want you to go and check out laura's website. Get that. I'm gonna download the five recordings myself because I am so into this. I I'll have all that info there. Laura, I'm so grateful for you joining me.
LauraAuraGuest
48:07
I am so grateful for the space that you have created and held, and just your girl. You're exuding energy in such a most beautiful way in the world needs more of that, so thanks for being you.
Christine Van BloemHost
48:18
Oh gosh, I should have started podcasts earlier. Everyone's so darn nice. So, all right, laura, thank you, and everyone. As always, you can find me at empty nest kitchencom, find me on the socials and, uh, I'll see you in the kitchen.
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