Ep 13: Resilience in Mid-Life with Kelly Beins
We all go through stuff, especially once mid-life hits. Finding resilience and making the choice between recovering or not can be difficult, but not impossible.
This week I'm talking with Kelly Beins, an occupational therapist who built a business, closed a business, and now is thriving in her career.
You'll hear about the mental ups and downs in entrepreneurship and how it's not always as easy as pulling yourself up by the bootstraps. Kelly's humor and willingness to talk about the tough stuff makes this conversation really special.
Links from this episode
Follow Christine Van Bloem on Instagram @theemptynestkitchen and on Facebook @emptynestkitchen
Connect with Kelly Beins on her website and on Instagram @kbeins_sensoryexpert
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Christine Van Bloem: 0:22
Well, hey there and howdy do. I am, as always, delighted and thrilled. I swear, I get the coolest ladies on this podcast. This has been the best part of starting this whole thing because there are all these women that I have admired that now I'm like, oh, do you want to be on the podcast? And today I have Laura Stark of That's What She Said. And I just love that. Welcome, Laura.
Laura Stark: 0:49
you. I'm so excited to be here.
Christine Van Bloem: 0:52
Oh my gosh, it's the silliest thing,
Laura Stark: 0:54
Yeah, it really, no, I don't think it's silly. I think it's awesome.
Christine Van Bloem: 0:58
Oh, you're so good to me. So I have known Laura, now on the periphery lately, but we had sons that ran cross country together, and Laura has And then her son is her younger and he was a freshman when my son was a senior. Yeah, and that's how I met Laura. And then I've kind of admired from afar because Laura is nothing but guts and sass. But in the best possible way and you're and Laura's like no stop. I can't take a compliment, but you do improv,
Laura Stark: 1:38
Yeah,
Christine Van Bloem: 1:39
ah okay, so the reason that I wanted to have you on is because first of all being able to do improv is So cool.
Laura Stark: 1:50
it's it's so
Christine Van Bloem: 1:51
tell tell tell everybody like kind of what improv is
Laura Stark: 1:56
Improv is just using an audience suggestion to build a scene or a series of scenes. Or you can do, that's what long form improv is, and that's what I perform with mostly now. But I teach short form improv, and that's more along the lines of Getting a suggestion and then playing games, theater games, or short form improv games. You'd see it on TV with that show Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Christine Van Bloem: 2:22
I couldn't remember the name. I'm so glad you I always thought that was so funny. And I mean, seriously, what kind of a genius do you have to be to do
Laura Stark: 2:30
I know. It's, it's, it's a ball though. I have so much fun. And anybody who says, Oh, I could never do that. I'm like, challenge accepted. Take my class and I will show you that you can. And I've had people take my class and then go, Thank you so much. I learned so much. I will never do this again. And that's fine. Not everybody likes the spotlight. And I try not to make my students do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable or. Puts them in a weird place. But I've had students that have just been so painfully shy. And one of two things happens with those students. They either like just fade out of the class and never come back or they challenge themselves. Like I had two students this last semester who were so shy and they were And both of them, I'm offering a workshop this summer and reached out to my students first to say, Hey, do you want to take this workshop? And both of them were like, yeah, I'm in. So I love it. I love it. And they blossom so much.
Christine Van Bloem: 3:31
Ah, that is so cool that, you know, can I tell you, I seriously thought about signing up for your
Laura Stark: 3:37
should totally take my class.
Christine Van Bloem: 3:39
really did. I was like, maybe I should, and then I'm like, oh my gosh, I would, and I'm a ham bone, right? I'm a ham bone, but I am not a ham bone the way you are a ham bone.
Laura Stark: 3:49
It's well, you know, it comes naturally. I've been a smart ass since I
Christine Van Bloem: 3:52
Yeah.
Laura Stark: 3:53
born. Yay.
Christine Van Bloem: 3:57
too. Me too. That is so funny. All right. So you're, I want to know about this troupe that you're with, because I knew you as part of a different troupe, and now you said this is an all female?
Laura Stark: 4:12
so for a long time when I first moved to Frederick, I started performing with a group called the Comedy Pigs. And they're still around. They are the house team for the Maryland Ensemble Theater. They're a short form troupe. And I performed with them for about ten years. And after ten years, I was like, It's time to find something new. And then right before COVID, I reached out to my friend, Molly Parchment, who is a significantly younger woman than me, but she most everybody who does improv is significantly younger than me, if I'm going to be honest. But I reached out to her and said, I want to do improv with just women. I want to do an all women's troupe. Do you want to start something with me? And she was absolutely, I'm in. And then COVID hit. She was pregnant with her second child and it just didn't work out. So, a couple years after post COVID, if we can call ourselves post COVID We got back in touch and we pitched a couple other women that are strong improvisers that we've both been on stage with that we were like, yeah, let's do this. So it's, it's me and Molly Parchment and Katie Cave and she's a mother, a new mother of twins. Love her so much. Yeah. Like she came to me and she was like, tell me all the things. And I was like, cut yourself a break. Jessica Taylor and who came to me as a student, she and her husband. And as they're like in my beginner improv class, I was like, why are you taking my class? Cause it was so evident they were not beginners. And they were like, we just moved into the area and we thought this is the best way to get to know the community. And now they're in everything. So, and they're awesome. But Jessica Taylor. And then Courtney McLaughlin, who is actually leaving. That's why we're having a last hurrah show at the end of May to kind of wish Courtney a fond farewell on her next adventure. So,
Christine Van Bloem: 6:10
Oh, that's so cool. Okay, so you brought up something that I think is really interesting in two different ways. And it doesn't, it's not necessarily improv related, but it's younger
Laura Stark: 6:25
mm.
Christine Van Bloem: 6:26
related, right? Because we are women of a certain
Laura Stark: 6:29
we are.
Christine Van Bloem: 6:30
fabulous, and You are working with a lot of people that are younger than you.
Laura Stark: 6:36
Yes.
Christine Van Bloem: 6:37
All right. So I think this is super interesting because number one, you're working with a different generation, right? And tell me what that's like working with a younger generation.
Laura Stark: 6:52
I learn a lot from them how language has changed. When the whole they, them and identifying as they, thems first started to become a regular part of speak, I was thrown by that. I was like, I don't understand that. And, and.
Christine Van Bloem: 7:11
Generationally, that makes
Laura Stark: 7:13
Yeah, and, and to be honest, my my daughters also keep me in check and are able to explain it to me in a way that makes more sense to me. But once I adopted the language and it became more normal for me, and working at the Maryland Ensemble Theater, there is, I mean, talk about diverse. There are a couple trans people in the company. There are people of color. There are it's just, it's an amazing group to work with. But
Christine Van Bloem: 7:42
Really diverse.
Laura Stark: 7:44
to learn the new language, they, you know, they would keep me in check. And just jokes that, like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, you know, Our generation wouldn't necessarily find funny. They're able to do that. And it was so funny because as my kids were coming up and through middle school and high school, there was a poster of me when I was with the comedy pigs hanging downtown and I was making an obscene gesture that was blurred out. In fact, I think you can see it right,
Christine Van Bloem: 8:12
Yeah. Ha ha! Yes, I remember that poster!
Laura Stark: 8:15
my daughters were downtown and one of them went, their friends went, wasn't, isn't that your mom? And I was like, Oh no, were you embarrassed by that? And they were like, no, actually it's cool. And I was like, okay, okay. I said, if I ever start to be like, Oh my God, mom, then I'll stop. Like, I don't want to be that mom,
Christine Van Bloem: 8:35
no.
Laura Stark: 8:36
but they liked it. They liked it. And there was this boy that one of my daughters liked and. He didn't really give her the time of day very much and then he found out that I was a comedy pig and started paying attention to her and she wanted nothing to do with him after that. And I was like, what? She was like, I'm not going to like him just because he thinks you're cool.
Christine Van Bloem: 8:57
Yeah. Well, good on her! Good on
Laura Stark: 9:00
so I, I can't, the, the young people keep me young. They keep me current. They keep me on top of what's going on. So, and I can bring some perspective of this is what you learn from age. And this is what bothers you now, but in the longterm, it really isn't a thing. And for like my friend, Katie, who's got the twins, I told her, I said, I'm You know, I, the, the one piece of advice I give new moms is first of all, don't listen to anybody's birth story. Just don't,
Christine Van Bloem: 9:30
Oh my gosh,
Laura Stark: 9:31
worth it. And second of all, invest in a clear shower curtain because then you can put your baby in the car seat and take a shower and still see your baby. Right?
Christine Van Bloem: 9:40
so smart. That's, those days are so far gone for me. I try to be super sensitive to new moms and not be, I don't know, I think it's, everybody wants to feel connected, right? So I think we're at an age that now I understand when somebody tells me a story, Story. They're trying to create connection. They may not realize that, but I now, because I overanalyze everything, hello therapy, right? But it's like they're trying to create that connection. So with New Moms, I am really strict with myself about, you know, I try and I know we're not allowed to comment on looks now. Right? And, and that's really hard for me because I want to say to people, you look amazing! And not comment on their body or their shape or anything like that, but just, you look great! And I try not to, you know, You know, do that. I'm trying to really be sensitive because not just new moms, but you know, the younger generation, I have said it before and I will continue to say it. I think they're are only hope. Bless their hearts in a good way, not the Southern way, right? Because I, I, you know, like they don't have the knowledge that That age brings, right? Because we've been through it. We've been through it. And I remember how idealistic I
Laura Stark: 11:09
Mm hmm,
Christine Van Bloem: 11:10
back in the day. So sometimes that is a little harder for me to digest, especially when it comes to my own kids. But I, I, I really love to hear the perspectives and hear the language. You're so right about the language.
Laura Stark: 11:26
Yeah! Their whole way of communicating is different and it takes me a minute and sometimes I come home and I'm like GRRR! They do it! This, that, the other, or I have regular meetings on Zoom with the ensemble. It's also in person, but I like to do it from my pajamas. And so turn off the screen, turn off the sound, but then like things will be said and I'll be like, ah, grr, grr. And then I think about it later and I process and I digest and I'm like, they're not wrong.
Christine Van Bloem: 12:00
They're not, no. And that, I think that is my second point. Being able to really listen. to them and not and to really hear what they're saying. I, I remember back when I had Kitchen Studio, I had a I had a couple of trans kids come in and you know my whole vibe was love, support and cook because that's, I mean that's what they're there to do, right? I just want to help them with the cooking and I remember I would say, ladies and gentlemen, because You know, that's just what you would say. And I remember the one kid who technically was too old. They had graduated and mom signed them up because younger brother was in. And, oh, they scowled at me and I was like, okay, can't say Ladies and gentlemen, okay, okay, okay. And it's taken me a while, not because I'm insensitive to the point, just because. of what we learned, right? It wasn't part of our education, our fundamental
Laura Stark: 13:08
yeah, yeah,
Christine Van Bloem: 13:09
it's kind of changing the whole new thing. I'm in. Like, I'm all in. I might make a mistake.
Laura Stark: 13:15
And that's the thing is when I had a friend that when I met him, he was a she. And, identified 100 percent as she, and was all things feminine, and all things feminist, and that's what we bonded over. And then, they became a they them. And I was like, okay, I got that, I feel that. And then the transition happened to he him. And last interaction I had with him, I realized he's the exact same soul. He's the exact same soul that he's always been. His packaging has changed and his labeling has changed, but the ingredients are still the same.
Christine Van Bloem: 13:59
what a good way to put that.
Laura Stark: 14:01
And I've always said, you know, it's okay for me. It's okay for people to label themselves. Like whatever I want to be called, you need to honor that. But to put labels on someone else, that's where the problem is. So whatever you want to call yourself, I will honor you and who you are. with that label or with that greeting, but, you know, it's, they're still who they are at their core. So
Christine Van Bloem: 14:31
I, I love it. I mean, I kind of feel like they're handling enough stuff, they don't need me to, to add anything to that, right? So, my heart is in it, but, like I said, I still make mistakes,
Laura Stark: 14:44
They understand that. They get it. As long as, as long as you acknowledge the mistake, like I made a mistake big time once and I went up to the person afterwards and I was like, I am so sorry. And they were like, Laura, I get it. I know who you are. And I know it was not intentional. And I get students at FCC, you know, that look very female presenting, but identify as they, them, or he, him. And I have to adjust myself
Christine Van Bloem: 15:12
Yeah,
Laura Stark: 15:12
on a regular
Christine Van Bloem: 15:13
so that brings up FCC is our local community college, and I gotta say, back in the day, community college, it doesn't help that my local community college was called HACC, right? For, I know, is that the worst? Harrisburg Area Community College, very much. But that, what a terrible name. FCC, much better abbreviation. But you're teaching at FCC now? You're teaching at the
Laura Stark: 15:39
Yeah, I have for a couple of years, I've been teaching the improv class. The,
Christine Van Bloem: 15:43
That's where you
Laura Stark: 15:44
yeah, the one, the beginner and the intermediate and advanced improv class.
Christine Van Bloem: 15:50
That is so cool. And do you find, do you have any empty nest women coming into your
Laura Stark: 15:57
I don't. I don't. I
Christine Van Bloem: 15:59
You don't!
Laura Stark: 16:01
children, and it takes me a second to forget that they're kids or to remember that they're kids. Like I was talking, I have a potty mouth. I just do. And I say it to my students when I first started a class. I'm like, I'm going to be dropping the bombs. And if it's a problem, you need to let me know that it's a problem so that I can put on my, I'm talking to my mom's speech where I edit myself. And I have to remember to do that with my FCC kids because they were teasing one of my students this last semester because she was the oldest. Like, she's so old. Oh my god, she's so old. 19. 19. And I was like, yeah, you still have teen at the end. You were a child, but
Christine Van Bloem: 16:46
All right. So do you do, like, I think I would be very intimidated to be 56 and coming into a class with literal children that are younger than my
Laura Stark: 17:02
Yes.
Christine Van Bloem: 17:03
I think that would be really hard. Have you ever thought, I mean, maybe the ladies our age just I don't know. It's, I feel like women our age get like, you're in your hobbies,
Laura Stark: 17:18
Yeah.
Christine Van Bloem: 17:19
But I'm always trying something new. I always want to do
Laura Stark: 17:24
I love that
Christine Van Bloem: 17:26
I'm always trying like pickleball and now I'm trying to sew. I'm terrible at it, by the way, but I want to do like, I want to kind of design my own clothes and do some stuff because when you're a little bit of a chunky monkey. Everybody thinks you should have a really heinous floral
Laura Stark: 17:44
Oh my God, the clothes you find for women our age. My God.
Christine Van Bloem: 17:49
No. And I'm not plus size, I'm that, I'm like right before plus size, right? And it's, I call it my sack of potatoes, sort of. And, and I don't mind it, like, who am I trying to impress? You know, I, love me or don't. That's one of the joys after 50, right? Love me or don't,
Laura Stark: 18:11
I was trying to express this to my FCC class that
Christine Van Bloem: 18:15
They can't understand.
Laura Stark: 18:17
no, they can't. Cause I see it to my own kids who are in their late twenties, mid to late twenties. And I'm trying to say, Just really what people think about you doesn't really matter. I read something one point that said other people's opinions of you is none of your business.
Christine Van Bloem: 18:36
Yeah!
Laura Stark: 18:37
just, that resonated with me somewhere around 40. Something clicked and I stopped
Christine Van Bloem: 18:43
Oh, you're better. You're better than I am. You've always had that, that vibe. Like since I've known you, you've always had that march to your own beat and don't care sort of vibe. It's one of the things I've always admired
Laura Stark: 18:57
Thank you. I've been trying to teach my kids that, but they've got to go through.
Christine Van Bloem: 19:01
it. You have
Laura Stark: 19:03
have to, you have to come out the other side and realize that that stranger on the street who's looking at you because you're walking funny to, to amuse other people. Will you ever see that person again? No. And even if you do, they'll be like, Oh my God, you were that woman that did that funny thing. You'd be like, Yeah, I was.
Christine Van Bloem: 19:24
That's it. I remember this sounds so ridiculous. It is one of my most proud things and it must have been 20 years ago. No joke. I had worked with someone and after we stopped working together, apparently they were saying not nice things. And someone called me. And said, listen, you need to know so and so is saying not nice things. So I'm calling to tell you. And I said, I really appreciate that. I don't want to know. And that, it's so not who I was, right? Because there was a good ulcer to be had there somewhere in all of that. And I was like, you know, I really appreciate it, and you're awesome for trying to look out for me, but it's not relevant. And I don't, I'm gonna let
Laura Stark: 20:12
I think it was.
Christine Van Bloem: 20:13
Have I let it go 20 years later? I don't
Laura Stark: 20:16
a, that's a whole nother conversation with the therapist. But speaking of therapists when I was going to therapy for a while after my son was born, now looking at back at it now, I was full on postpartum and had no idea, no idea. I was just like sad and depressed and lonely. And, and she said to me, I was, I belong to this group called Mothers of Multiples. And one day I'll tell you the backstory of that group. Cause I have. There's a, there's a back story with that, but she I met her through that and she had preemie twin boys and I had preemie twin girls. So we bonded over that. And she, we had zero money, like we had no money and she had all the money. And we would go to the mall, because it was Connecticut, we lived in Connecticut, and we would go to the mall and I would pick up a book and look at it for the kids and think, oh, I need to remember that so when we go to the library. She was like, just get it. And I looked at the back and it was 15. I didn't have 15. I didn't have that, but she was just like, you know, I'm buying this and this. And I would go to her house and her house was immaculate and her kids were always clean. And the little like, like she would cut the, the, the grapes in half. And I used to think when she came to my house, I had this teeny little living room space that was also the toy room, which was also the this room and that teeny little space. And my kids wore stuff that I bought secondhand or that they inherited from older cousins, that kind of thing. And I thought, I said to my therapist, what must she think of me? And she said, well, did she say anything? And I said, no. She goes, so this is your drama. And I was like, And she goes, so there are several things you can do. You can say, whose drama is this? Is it your drama or someone else's drama? And if it's someone else's drama, do you want to play? Do you want to be in that?
Christine Van Bloem: 22:17
Laura, this is so
Laura Stark: 22:18
Yeah, it was so great for me because I sometimes like it's not my drama and I'll go, Oh, I'm going, I'm going, I'm diving in. I'm in, I'm in, I want to play, but I am aware that I'm doing that. So the repercussions are mine. But sometimes I'll be like, that's on them. They want to think that way or feel that way. That's their drama, not mine.
Christine Van Bloem: 22:42
yeah. I always try to say now, I am dramatic, because, I mean, listen to the two of us talk, right? I am dramatic, but I hate drama, like, I'm just not into
Laura Stark: 22:54
Yeah, me neither.
Christine Van Bloem: 22:55
think, I think that once you go through this life, and you deal with Real shit, right? That the petty drama just is petty
Laura Stark: 23:07
It really is.
Christine Van Bloem: 23:08
care. Do you get to pull, I mean, I would assume you do, but do you pull from this in your improv? Do you pull from all of these feelings
Laura Stark: 23:18
Sure, it makes me a lot more fearless on stage because I don't care. The audience is not laughing at me. They're laughing at the character that I created. And that's different from Laura. You know,
Christine Van Bloem: 23:33
That's so
Laura Stark: 23:33
yeah. And so I just, I can just go with what you give me and what other people give me on stage. Like the women in that group, that's what she said, the stuff they come up with, you know, that, that thing in your head that goes, you're not worthy of that, the imposter syndrome that pops out with these women all the time because they are so good. The stuff they come up with, but the number one rule of improv is yes. And so I just, yes. And whatever they give me. And I know I'm in for an adventure. I know I'm in for a ride and I'm just going to hang on tight and just go along with it. Just agree with everything they pitch at me. And it's going to be great.
Christine Van Bloem: 24:18
That is so exciting. I love this. I think every woman over 50 should take an improv
Laura Stark: 24:24
Yes, I should just offer women over 50, women 50 and over.
Christine Van Bloem: 24:30
Yeah, maybe do 45.
Laura Stark: 24:33
Include those younger
Christine Van Bloem: 24:34
but, but I'll tell you what, maybe a workshop or something because it's really interesting. I'm comfortable with who I am, but it's scary to me because, you know, when you're working with teenagers, you don't necessarily know the language,
Laura Stark: 24:49
Right.
Christine Van Bloem: 24:50
right? And you don't necessarily know, you know, you don't want to be cringe. Which I'm sure is cringe to now say cringe, but you know, it's like, okay, we were saying that two years
Laura Stark: 25:02
Right. It's not a thing anymore. Right.
Christine Van Bloem: 25:05
like bruh, right? Which is, you know, or on fleek. I think that's when my daughter was in high school a hundred years ago, you know, but, It's, I am so excited by the idea of this, just doing something fearless and fun, and I love that you're doing that. Where is the, the show that you're doing, and when is
Laura Stark: 25:30
it's at the Maryland Ensemble Theater, which is right across the street from Weinberg. It's down there in the basement in the
Christine Van Bloem: 25:35
In Frederick,
Laura Stark: 25:36
and the Francis Scott Key Hotel. If you go down in the basement, that's, we're right next to New Spires. There's a,
Christine Van Bloem: 25:43
I don't, I don't know if you know this,
Laura Stark: 25:45
I don't,
Christine Van Bloem: 25:46
because this is very cool. So one of the things I can do, because I endlessly look at my stats for this podcast, because in my head it matters, right? But does it? Not at all. But I can see where people are listening from, and it is the most thrilling thing. Somebody in Germany is all about it. I don't know who, but I love it. And we have people listening now all over the
Laura Stark: 26:15
love it.
Christine Van Bloem: 26:17
Now that sounds much bigger than it really is. It's like,
Laura Stark: 26:20
No, that's huge
Christine Van Bloem: 26:21
in Idaho. It's not like, you know, it's not like the West
Laura Stark: 26:26
Yeah, no, I think it's awesome.
Christine Van Bloem: 26:29
So this is Frederick, Maryland, which is the greatest town you'll ever visit Because I just love it here so much So you guys are gonna do a show at the Met on the 31st, you
Laura Stark: 26:40
May 31st at 8. 30pm. And it's the all, and it's just us. We're not sharing.
Christine Van Bloem: 26:48
p. m.
Laura Stark: 26:48
We're, we're in and out of there by 9. 30. You're home by 10.
Christine Van Bloem: 26:52
Okay Whew, 830, that's like college, you know,
Laura Stark: 26:57
I performed with the Comedy Pigs, This was before the Maryland Ensemble Theater had two spaces. Now we have two spaces. One space is for comedy and for the kids shows, and the other space is the main stage. So we would have to wait until the main stage show was closed before we'd go on. So comedy peak shows sometimes wouldn't start until 11. 30 at night.
Christine Van Bloem: 27:19
my gosh. That, if, I'm like, oh my gosh, who would go to that, you
Laura Stark: 27:28
We got a lot of hood kids. We got a lot of 20 somethings that were like, done their bar thing and they're like, let's go laugh. So, we got, yeah, we got a lot of inebriated people, but
Christine Van Bloem: 27:41
well that'd be really
Laura Stark: 27:42
yeah.
Christine Van Bloem: 27:43
Well, it would go one of
Laura Stark: 27:44
Yeah, it can go either way. It can really go either way. But I, speaking of inebriated, I did a project last Christmas with the Maryland Ensemble Theatre called Inebriated Holiday where I had people, Recorded people telling holiday stories while they were intoxicated and then we edited them and then the actors on stage lip synched what they, the story that was told and reenacted the story and it was so much fun. So much work but so much fun.
Christine Van Bloem: 28:18
Oh my gosh. Yeah, that's like a riff on Drunk History, but keeping it local. I love that. I love Drunk History. I think it's so funny. I'm like a, I'm like a two drink Sally man. I don't drink a lot. Like, I love a tasty cocktail. I don't know if you listened to my last
Laura Stark: 28:37
I did. I want to try that
Christine Van Bloem: 28:39
cocktail, that wine is phenomenal. And you guys have to go back and listen, but the cocktail, the Pornstar Martini, right? You, you gotta try
Laura Stark: 28:51
and I loved how you kept saying, It's got a naughty name.
Christine Van Bloem: 28:55
It does have a naughty name. I mean, I used to curse a lot. I still love to curse. I, I love it. I, it, I like it way more than I should. It is, it is a vice. But as I've gotten older, I'm kind of self tamping it
Laura Stark: 29:12
I need to start doing that.
Christine Van Bloem: 29:17
it, I don't know if I ever told this, we used to pick like a dirty word of the day. My friend Kerry and I, when I had Kitchen Studio, it could only be the two of us because I had a lot of respect for the other women, right? But Kerry, that sounds like I don't respect Kerry. She's like my best friend. But she and I would pick a word of the day and then we would just work it. into our conversation the entire day and it was hilarious. I mean, it was the funniest thing we could do because you're just so bawdy and I love that word. Bawdy makes me think of like an old broad who's, you know, slinging some kind of like reuniti on ice.
Laura Stark: 29:58
Reuniti. I remember that commercial.
Christine Van Bloem: 30:01
My grandma used to drink the Rioliti. She'd get the gallon
Laura Stark: 30:04
Love it.
Christine Van Bloem: 30:06
She'd get the gallon. My mom's mom, I want to be very clear if anybody is listening to this and they know my dad's mom, the opposite, right? But my mom's mom, she would have her green tumbler. That she would put ice cubes in and then get the gallon jug of the Rionidi with the screw cap and pour it in. And to me, because nobody in my family drank like ever, there was, we had a fully stocked bar that nobody ever touched
Laura Stark: 30:34
Gosh.
Christine Van Bloem: 30:34
ever, right? Ever. I remember my dad drinking a beer or something like two or three times in my whole life, like nobody drank. So grandma with, it just makes me think of my grandma, right? And kind of the That dyed dark hair, but it's like my, like it's thinning a little. Right? So you're seeing maybe a little more scalp and because it's dyed so dark and she's got kind of that gravel cigarette
Laura Stark: 30:59
it. Everything about
Christine Van Bloem: 31:00
slinging it around. That's what I think of with bawdy.
Laura Stark: 31:04
So, that's a character there. Yeah. Maybe I'll bring her on stage on May 31st. I got my Reuniti.
Christine Van Bloem: 31:12
you're really an idiot on us. That's nice. So, and hopefully the people listening to this remember because they're our age, right? Because if my daughter heard that she'd be like,
Laura Stark: 31:22
What's, what's Reuniti? And then I, you have to pull up YouTube and show them the commercials because you can find anything on YouTube.
Christine Van Bloem: 31:29
You, oh my gosh. Oh my
Laura Stark: 31:31
Seagram's Wine Coolers.
Christine Van Bloem: 31:34
Oh my gosh, Bartles and
Laura Stark: 31:36
Oh yeah, that was
Christine Van Bloem: 31:37
Right? Remember? College! Absolutely. That was the thing. And it's so funny. I'm watching my daughter because she she loves cider and she loves a cocktail and, you know, all of that, but she's not at the age yet where she enjoys wine at all. And we're like, it'll come. Don't worry. It'll come. You start with this. Get a spritzer. You know, it'll be, you'll be fine. Don't worry, you'll get there. And trying to talk her through.
Laura Stark: 32:03
Sangria.
Christine Van Bloem: 32:06
Yeah! That's a good idea. That's a good idea. Fruit. Brandy.
Laura Stark: 32:11
summertime, I buy frozen berries. And I will just put them in the bottom of a big, huge wine glass, pour in some red wine, and then pour in a Sprite or a 7 Up. That's my go to.
Christine Van Bloem: 32:24
That is Whiskey Tango Sangria right there. Little, little WT right there. See, I'm like, well, I pour in the brandy, and then I, I get the, I make a little simple
Laura Stark: 32:36
That's because you're classy. You're classier than me, Christine.
Christine Van Bloem: 32:40
a day in my life. Not a day in my life. I've had people say, oh, you're so cool. I'm like, I have not been cool for a day of my life. Not
Laura Stark: 32:49
No, you aren't. No, that is not true. You are
Christine Van Bloem: 32:52
That is completely true. No.
Laura Stark: 32:54
a different level. Like a level You've leveled up your coolness.
Christine Van Bloem: 33:00
An imperceptible call. Alright, so, I want you to give us all a tip on as we're becoming who we actually are, right? We're in this sweet spot right now. I think the Empty Nest before retirement is a real sweet spot. Because physically, you're still able, I mean everything hurts all the
Laura Stark: 33:24
Sure, yeah.
Christine Van Bloem: 33:25
Bye. You're, you're able to still move around and go do stuff and, you know, without complaining about it. And you've got, the kids are gone and they're really fun. Like my kids don't have kids yet. Neither of them is married. Right? So they're still fun. Everything's still really flexible and that's not to imply that they will have children and they won't be fun, but I will no longer care about the children and I will care about the
Laura Stark: 33:52
Exactly. Priorities.
Christine Van Bloem: 33:55
Right? We know what's what here, but how can we take these lessons of improv Right? This, this whole thing. How can we incorporate it to really incorporate a little bit of fearlessness into our
Laura Stark: 34:10
So I do improv workshops all the time for companies, corporations, things like that. And I literally just did one for the Maryland Public Defenders Conference. I know.
Christine Van Bloem: 34:23
That's so
Laura Stark: 34:24
so cool. So I had, I was really worried about how many attendees, cause I was one of eight breakout rooms, but I had 36 people and they were all lawyers. They're all defense attorneys. Right? So I'm like, what do I have to say to them? And what are they going to be like, Oh, this woman came in and played some games with us, whatever. But the, the lesson is that I don't know of a field of law. Of any kind of employment or lifestyle or whatever, where improv would not benefit in any way, shape, or form. So the, the lesson of saying yes, and that opens yourself up to so much more. If you say no, everything stops right
Christine Van Bloem: 35:06
Yeah, you're right.
Laura Stark: 35:07
you say yes, I am opening myself up to that and I'm going to build on top of it. Not only does the story grow, but the opportunities grow. And I understand there are times in your life where you do have to say no. I'm not naive enough to,
Christine Van Bloem: 35:21
absolutely.
Laura Stark: 35:23
but the yes allows so much more to happen. So much more to happen. And because of that, that's put me into a couple of mindsets. Cause first of all, it's tomorrow is not promised. Tomorrow's not promised for any of us. I've had too many friends much younger than me die unexpectedly. And it's just like, you gotta do today. And I try to do something every year that frightens me. A couple of years ago, I got my motorcycle license and I wanted to go to a
Christine Van Bloem: 35:57
that frightens me that you got a motorcycle license.
Laura Stark: 36:01
And I don't go, I don't go on the freeways because that freaks me out. I just take my bike and I go up to Gambrill and I go on the twisty turny roads where I can go 20 miles an hour and everybody else and if somebody gets behind me I just pull over. I'm like go on but I just it was just something I always wanted to do and I was like okay so do it. And that's my, that's my whole thing is, is with improv, you just open yourself up to so many more ideas and so many more opportunities and allow the communication. It's active listening, which is completely immersing yourself in what the other person is saying without formulating what you're going to say in response. I don't practice that so much in my own life, but it's something that I need to. But when you're on stage in improv, you have to listen. If you're not listening to you, you miss details and the audience will catch it, but you'll miss it. And it's important to hear what everybody's saying because those little details could make. It could change the entire context of what's going on. I used to say to my kids all the time, I would start to say something and they will, I know, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, you need to listen to my whole sentence. Cause the end of it could completely change what you perceive the beginning of it to be.
Christine Van Bloem: 37:23
Yeah,
Laura Stark: 37:24
So,
Christine Van Bloem: 37:25
yeah, okay. All right. I love that. I, I would like to encourage you and you're gonna have one person, it'll be me, but I would love to encourage you to do some kind of a workshop for the middle aged ladies.
Laura Stark: 37:41
that. I love
Christine Van Bloem: 37:43
You know, because I tell you, I am so much more fearless now than I ever was. And I mean, I, I did brave stuff. I've done a lot of brave stuff in my life, but now it feels more like me. And I would love to do, I, first, I'd love to take a class with you, but I would love to do that. And I'm gonna commit to coming to your show on the
Laura Stark: 38:06
I would love that. I would love
Christine Van Bloem: 38:09
I'm, I'm so excited.
Laura Stark: 38:11
And, and the idea of doing a class for women 45 and older, it is that because I didn't pitch a workshop to the public, but I'm going to pitch that workshop.
Christine Van Bloem: 38:24
yeah, I, I really think, and I'll pitch it for you. I'll, I'll throw it out on some socials and stuff because I just think it's, I just think it's really, really cool,
Laura Stark: 38:35
I love it. Yeah.
Christine Van Bloem: 38:36
I, I love it because when I teach a class, I have to be quick. Right?
Laura Stark: 38:42
what you're doing is improv too.
Christine Van Bloem: 38:44
yeah, well, not, it's a little more based in,
Laura Stark: 38:48
But if somebody throws something at you, Christine, what happens if this happens and you're like, Oh, okay, well, then you have to do this. And cooking, especially cooking, not so much baking, but cooking is a lot of improv. It's a lot
Christine Van Bloem: 39:01
is. But,
Laura Stark: 39:02
well, let's just add this.
Christine Van Bloem: 39:04
yeah, it is. Do you like to
Laura Stark: 39:07
I do not like to cook. I like to bake, which is so funny.
Christine Van Bloem: 39:12
well, there are bakers and there are cooks, right? And that's so opposite of what I would think with you, because of the improv. Because my theory is there are two kinds of people, right? There are bakers and there are cooks. And bakers are a little more comfortable with being told what to do. Because baking is a science,
Laura Stark: 39:35
turn out. Yeah.
Christine Van Bloem: 39:37
baking is a science and there are rules you have to follow for it to work, right? You can't, like when I see kids, I used to have kids tell me, Oh, I'm going to make a cake and I'm just going to throw this and this and that and this. And I was always, you know, like, Oh, twitching and my eye was kind of closing because, well, what's your leavener? Are you using a chemical leavener? Are you doing a gem wine using eggs? Like it's not gonna work if you just throw a bunch of crap in a bowl because, but I never told him that because I'm like, do what you do kid. Have a great time. Good luck to you. And then they'd find out they're cooks and not bakers like me. So, but you like to bake. What do you like to bake?
Laura Stark: 40:19
Yeah, all the things lately. I'm into the bread.
Christine Van Bloem: 40:23
Okay, are you doing sourdough or are you doing
Laura Stark: 40:25
don't see I can't commit myself to the sourdough because that was like once you start the sourdough like you're just committed to sourdough till you die. Yeah,
Christine Van Bloem: 40:37
I would look
Laura Stark: 40:38
it's alive and you're like I have to care for this thing. I got enough on
Christine Van Bloem: 40:43
no reward. It's not a puppy. Right? And, and, I let my starter die. I let it die, and I was like, Ha! I seriously could not wait to get rid of the starter. And I paid for that starter, right? I didn't get it from somebody locally. I bought the starter from somebody that sells, it's called Eve. She named it, and it's this very prolific starter, and she dehydrates it. It was a great starter. Could not handle it. Could not handle it. Hated it.
Laura Stark: 41:15
Looked into it.
Christine Van Bloem: 41:16
all
Laura Stark: 41:17
Looked into it over COVID and then I was just like that. So I have to be responsible for something and have something on my plate. I just I couldn't I couldn't but the yeast. Yeah, I love yeasted breads and I found a bread recipe, which I think I've messaged you about. It's literally you put the flour in a bowl. You put the salt in the bowl. You put the yeast in the bowl. You add some water. You mix it up. You cover it up. You stick it in your fridge next day. You pull it out. You fold it a couple times. You toss it a little bit to make a round thing. You put it in your not crock pot. What's the word I'm looking for? Cast iron Dutch oven. There you go. Okay. I have a cast iron one that I got secondhand and I just put it in that and bake it for 30 minutes. Take the lid off, bake it for another 15 and then you have this beautiful crusted crusty
Christine Van Bloem: 42:08
So good. So good. Yeah, it's, so there is a woman, she, I fangirl over her. I only have two chefs, two, three chefs that I fangirl over, all three women. I fangirl over them, and one is Zoe Francois.
Laura Stark: 42:27
Ooh. Ha
Christine Van Bloem: 42:28
she, I found her before she really hit, and she has a book called Artisan Bread and Five. She, it's a book she wrote with a fella, he's a doctor, and that's where I got that recipe. And one year before Christmas, right before Snowmageddon, Hit it just so happened. I took my whole staff out for lunch We did you know like the thing and I had bought them each a copy of the book And I had made the dough for them. So I had all of these bins I'd gone to like costco or sam's and bought all these bins I made dough for each of them and it was in the back of my car And after after we finished I was parked in front of the restaurant and after we finished eating they all came out with their books and they You got their thing of dough and then that night we got 18 inches
Laura Stark: 43:21
That's crazy.
Christine Van Bloem: 43:23
is crazy. And they all, you know, we all played around with it. And that was, I mean, I think that was like 2009 or
Laura Stark: 43:30
I love that.
Christine Van Bloem: 43:31
So I've been using that, that dough, that recipe, Zoe Francois, so good. She's so good. I recommend it. It's called Artisan Bread and Five. There's at least a second edition out now and she has a brioche
Laura Stark: 43:46
Okay.
Christine Van Bloem: 43:47
That it's like my special, it's my special occasion dough, and it's got like three sticks of butter. It's got eight eggs or something, half a cup of honey. I mean, it's loaded, but brioche is actually an enriched
Laura Stark: 44:03
Yeah.
Christine Van Bloem: 44:04
So the dough you're making is a lean dough because it, there's no fat or anything in it and there's all that fat from the butter and the egg yolks and, and all that and that's how you get like that cinnamon roll dough. But I make that dough and use it for beignets when when we're gonna get snow around here, I will make that dough And then I will make doughnuts all morning so that anybody who's out shoveling or doing stuff we take them to the neighbors and
Laura Stark: 44:35
When we were house hunting, there was a house right next to your house. And we looked at it, and I was like, Christine Van Bloem and I could be best friends! And I could've been getting donuts all these years!
Christine Van Bloem: 44:50
It's, it's one, it's one of my it's one of my little favorite things, right? And we haven't been getting much snow, which has been really sad, you know? Because that's something I love to do, but I use that dough to make cinnamon rolls, and it doesn't hold as long in your fridge. Like, the dough you're making will hold up to two
Laura Stark: 45:10
yeah,
Christine Van Bloem: 45:11
And I remember a woman that used to work for me told me that she thought 10 days was the sweet spot because then you get a little of that sourdough funk to it. So I think I don't like it as funky as she did, but that was Cathy Bruce. She was amazing. She still
Laura Stark: 45:30
things. Funky cheeses. Ah,
Christine Van Bloem: 45:32
oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like the cheese creme de bourgogne, I think. My, pardon my French. It comes to me by way of Pennsylvania, but you, you basically slice the top off and it's so creamy and it's really loose. It's like a brie that went to prep school and And then spent some time in some dive bars, right? And it gets just a little funk on it, but it's classy underneath. And oh my gosh, it's so
Laura Stark: 46:04
Yeah, I every once in a while, John and I are like, let's not cook dinner. Let's just have cheese and fruit. And our go to, well, we have to go to Wegmans, but our go to is that, that Brie Blue that they have.
Christine Van Bloem: 46:18
Yeah. You do like
Laura Stark: 46:20
Yeah, I love funk. Funkier, better.
Christine Van Bloem: 46:22
can't do blues. I still can't do blues. I know. I know it's
Laura Stark: 46:27
If it may, if you open it and you go, Oh my God, I want to eat that.
Christine Van Bloem: 46:31
Yeah.
Laura Stark: 46:32
Cause it's going to be good.
Christine Van Bloem: 46:34
Do you do do you do any of the tinned fish?
Laura Stark: 46:38
I, now you were talking about that in your last podcast. So my mom used to do sardines when, especially when we went camping. That was like a fancy thing. And then my husband's not a fish person.
Christine Van Bloem: 46:50
thing. Okay.
Laura Stark: 46:52
He likes sushi, but he doesn't like anything that's really fishy tasting. So we, I've gotten out of that because of that,
Christine Van Bloem: 47:01
Go back and find the the tuna and onions that I I forget the Olegashi or something like that. That's a good starter one for a lot of people. I'll crack that open and eat it for lunch because it's not like the fish wife stuff you, it's delicious but you gotta, you know, you gotta gird your loins a little bit before you eat it because it's like fish with a capital fish. But yeah, I, I like, I like, we call them carpet picnics.
Laura Stark: 47:32
Yes.
Christine Van Bloem: 47:33
when I don't cook, but we crack things out and we have the, the fish or the cheese and all the accoutrements that go with it. Ah, it's the greatest. Laura, you are just so darn delightful.
Laura Stark: 47:50
You're sweet. I've been a fan of yours for years. Like when, no, when our sons, your son was just so. great to my kid who was just, he struggled in high school, but he got a, a good first start first year because your son would look out for him and even see him in the halls. And like it gave my son a level up because of your kid. So, and I would watch you at these meets and things and be like, I'm going to be her friend. I want her to be my friend. So,
Christine Van Bloem: 48:25
Well, the feeling is likewise, so teach this class so I can come
Laura Stark: 48:30
I, I'm 100 percent going to send an email out as soon as we finish this. Send an email out being, okay, this is the workshop I'm offering.
Christine Van Bloem: 48:38
Yeah, I, I really think it could be so good. I think there's a, you know, you, you're the pro. I just think there's a market for that because I don't want to perform. I'm not you, right? I know where my strengths are. I, I know, you know, what I'm great at. I know what I'm not as great at, organization. It's fine. But hey, you know, I would love to try it because I am trying to have a year of embracing the
Laura Stark: 49:07
yeah, it's, it's so good. Cause then when you do it, you're like, that wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it was going to be.
Christine Van Bloem: 49:13
Yeah. Yeah. Or, who really cares? Nobody cares. Nobody remembers. Right? As long as I don't fart on stage,
Laura Stark: 49:21
Oh my God. I had, at last semester, I had two yoga instructors and they were like, Laura, you should take my yoga class. And I said, do you know what my fear of yoga is? Is that I am going to, and she was like, everybody does it. It's like a rite of passage. You got to fart on in yoga class.
Christine Van Bloem: 49:38
Oh my god. I'm doing Pilates. It's so expensive. I can't, I cannot afford to keep doing Pilates. But I wanted to try, right? Because I'm trying all these new things. And at the end, have you ever done
Laura Stark: 49:48
I have not.
Christine Van Bloem: 49:50
Okay. So at the end of every Pilates class, you do this thing called legs and straps. Everything is vaguely sexual with Pilates. Just so you know.
Laura Stark: 50:00
And then you can say, that's what she said at the end.
Christine Van Bloem: 50:03
That's what she said. I'm telling you. And at the end, there's this thing called legs and straps. So you lay down, it's actually really cool. The reformer thing is super cool. And you put your legs in these straps and there are these springs and you kind of, you start by putting your legs straight up and then lowering them to like 45 degree angle, that's cool. But then you start. Making big circles with your legs and I have to clench every time I'm doing the circles because nobody talks in Pilates. Like, there's no camaraderie or joy. Everybody just, it's so not who I am, right? There's no cracking up, there's no laughing,
Laura Stark: 50:46
I bet you, if you farted. That the mood in the room would change,
Christine Van Bloem: 50:51
I think it
Laura Stark: 50:52
especially if you owned it.
Christine Van Bloem: 50:54
There's that lady that tooted in the class. I think I'd have to
Laura Stark: 50:58
I farted in front of my daughter's boyfriend once and it was a big one. It was one of those long day, let it go. And my husband's on the other side of the room going, how do I blame this on myself? But he's on the other side of the room. Yeah.
Christine Van Bloem: 51:14
that's a good
Laura Stark: 51:15
Yeah, and my daughter, as soon as it was done, I hear my daughter go, Oh my God, Mom! And I was like, what are you going to do? So I went, Better out than in. And you know that kid's still talking about the time he was at his girlfriend's house and his mom just let one rip. But I'm just like, what are you going to do? Everybody
Christine Van Bloem: 51:36
are you gonna do?
Laura Stark: 51:37
You just gotta
Christine Van Bloem: 51:38
Places I didn't see this conversation going when I asked you to be on this and can I tell you this is the longest one I've ever
Laura Stark: 51:46
Oh dear, I'm
Christine Van Bloem: 51:47
so funny. No, no, no. No, I love it Can I tell you what my least listened to podcast is? Because it's so funny. It's the Tinned Fish
Laura Stark: 51:57
Really? No, I listened to it because I was like, okay, tell me, tell me what I can do.
Christine Van Bloem: 52:02
I think it's too much for some folks.
Laura Stark: 52:04
I'm gonna try it.
Christine Van Bloem: 52:06
you should try it. It's yummy stuff.
Laura Stark: 52:09
don't like it, I just won't do it a second time. I'll eat, I always say, I will eat or try any food at least three times. Because you, you gotta try it the first time and if you don't like it, you gotta go, Okay, I need a minute and then I'll come back to it another time. And sometimes the second time is the censure for you.
Christine Van Bloem: 52:31
I'll tell ya, I have tried beets and broccoli so many times and they're just never gonna be part of my
Laura Stark: 52:36
I like beets.
Christine Van Bloem: 52:38
do it.
Laura Stark: 52:39
I'll do broccoli if it's steamed. I love a good
Christine Van Bloem: 52:42
oh, that's like, let's take broccoli and make it worse. That's the only way that is. And beets taste like dirt and sadness. So, there it is. There it is. All right, Laura, I'm going to put all of Laura's stuff, including the performance on May 31st. I'll include a link to that so folks can get tickets and then they can reach out to you however you see fit. And I'm just so delighted. And everyone, thank you to Laura. Of course, thanks for doing this, Laura, you're a peach. And, you know, you can find my Tasty, Delicious, Fabulous, Slightly Improv'd Cooking Classes online, and you can take one of those with me. I would love to have you in that. Follow me on social, do the thing, and as always, I'll see you in the kitchen.
