Ep 20: Creating a Life Sabbatical with Elizabeth Cromwell



Christine chats with Elizabeth Cromwell about her adventurous sabbatical after moving from Maryland to San Francisco, sharing her journey through various life changes, including her professional path, divorce, and becoming an empty nester.

Creating her own life sabbatical gave Elizabeth the structure to travel across Italy, the US, and Martha's Vineyard, among other places, emphasizing the value of decompression, self-discovery, and living into new experiences.

Elizabeth provides practical advice for women looking to undertake their own life sabbatical, underlining the importance of being intentional and seeking support from loved ones. Dig in to learn how to create your own daring and courageous life with the empty nest.


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  • GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 0:22

    Well, hello everyone. I am absolutely delighted, as always, with my guest here today. I think this is going to be a heck of a conversation. Say hello and welcome with me to Elizabeth

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    Cromwell.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 0:36

    Cromwell. Hey there! Hello, hello, nice to be with you. Oh my gosh, I am so delighted that you said yes to this, because you have a story that I think, I think people want to know. Well, I don't know. I mean, I, I don't know that my story is, is, is that remarkable? But it had a pretty, pretty great couple of years. So you have fortunate. Oh my gosh. So Elizabeth and I first met, we were in the same town here on the East coast in Maryland and our paths crossed professionally. And now tell me where you are. I am ever since January of this year, I am living in San Francisco, which is a city that I lived in from 1990 to 1999. And so immediately before I discovered, our town in Maryland. I've been living here and so it's with great delight that I find myself back here again and I live in a beautiful, small, almost like a bird house overlooking San Francisco Bay just at the base of Coit Tower on Telegraph Hill. Oh my gosh, I, I have to tell you, I've only visited one time, but I swear the plane touched down and I felt like I was home. I just think San Francisco is

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 2:04

    the most

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    glorious place. It is,

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    you know,

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    it's had, it's had some some rough press over the last few years and they, you know,

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    there's

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    been

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    some,

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    some problems with the city, but I have to say that you know, some of the changes that have happened because of the pandemic and other reasons have actually

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    made

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    some of the neighborhoods, in

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    my opinion,

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    a little bit nicer. Not quite as expensive as it used to be. A lot of the folks who had decided

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 2:34

    work

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    from home have, have left San Francisco, and in some cases left California. And while that, on the one hand, kind of sounds doom and gloomy, on the other hand, it's a much more livable city to me in a lot of the neighborhoods around here. Oh, that

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 2:53

    is,

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    I just, oh, I love it. So there's still a chance for me there. Yeah, absolutely. So, all right. So, I want you to tell me

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 3:06

    how

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    you got, because you have gone through some

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 3:09

    big

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    changes here, and you have, you have really embraced change and challenge, and in a way, That I think a lot of women, I don't want to lump you in and say our age because I'm an old bag, but in a way that empty nest women, you know, I think sometimes are afraid or nervous to do. And you went for it. So, so give everybody a little background. Well I agree. I do think there's a lot of women who Probably wouldn't take the approach that I've taken, but a lot that probably would too. So, I guess I'll back up just a few years and say that I moved to Charlottesville, Virginia in 2018 I moved there for a job. And didn't know the community very well. I was fairly kind of in the process of getting divorced too. And it just so happened that my

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 4:13

    daughter was

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    heading off to college. So there was a lot of empty nesting kind of happening. And so I moved to Charlottesville and it was shortly after the Unite the Right rally there. My work was, was Related to trying to help the community sort of improve especially the business community, which took an enormous hit over the, that situation. So, needless to say I was there for 4 years, and the the post Unite the Right rally time there was extremely stressful and extremely challenging. I can't imagine. And then the pandemic happened as well. And so so it was a pretty intense four years, I'd say. And as I found myself I'm more of a night owl than an early bird, honestly. And I started to find myself kind of late at night, just starting to scroll around maps. And I didn't even realize I was doing it, you know, at first. And, and so I'd be looking at Google maps and I was just sort of looking all over the world without realizing I was like, subconsciously trying to figure out, I want to go somewhere else. Yeah. Then I started looking at Airbnb, their website. And again, it was sort of subconsciously I started looking at where could I live For a thousand dollars a month or less. And just like looking at the whole globe that way. And it turns out there's a ton of places you can do that. And particularly if you are flexible about when you go. And you know, if you're off season in some places you can live substantially less than that. And so that kind of got me thinking that maybe I'm at a point in my life where I want to take some time off. I'm not, I know I'm not in the right spot right now, but I don't know what to do next. I don't know where I want to be. And it just all of a sudden kind of came to me that I need to spend like a year just kind of decompressing and figuring out what's next. So I talked to a couple of my closest old friend. She's an executive coach and does a lot of work with with corporate leaders, and she also knows me really well and she knows my mom and

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 6:37

    she's so

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    said. She said, I totally support you doing this. I think this is a great idea for you to go on an adventure for about a year and kind of decide, make the right next choice. And she said, but I really recommend that you call it something and that you put a frame around it and that you add some really specific structure to what you're doing. Because if you don't, People are going to think you've lost your mind. If you just get rid of everything, get rid of basically all of your possessions, which I did, you know, hand in your apartment keys, quit your job, and leave the country. You know, it doesn't look that stable. I know, but it looks, I mean, it's such a, and I remember we're Facebook friends, right? So I got to see the edited version of, right, of what's going out. And that just, it felt to me, it was so inspiring when I saw that you were doing that. And did you call it a sabbatical? Is that what you call it? I did. I did. Yeah. And it was really just kind of more shorthand for me because to try to explain what I was doing you know, when you say sabbatical to someone, they're like, Oh, okay, she's going away for a little bit. She'll be back. She'll, you know, she's just taking a breather. You know, some people are like, are you on vacation? I'm like, not really, you know, this is like, I'm just living my life right now. So I did call it a sabbatical, but I, but I really was grateful to my friend for having this conversation with me because I did really kind of start to structure it by four quarters and each quarter had a sort of a different location, a different kind of area of focus and a different sort of. Theme, I guess, if you will. Theme might be a little too specific, but you know, I really did look at you know, my first quarter was all about kind of getting myself back into shape a little bit. Okay. I don't mean working out. I mean just like going somewhere and, you know, making my own food for the first time. Yeah. And just climbing very, very steep villages that I was living in for three months and just, and I did so I, I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I stopped until the world stopped spinning. So the first quarter was really just about like building up my, my endurance. Again, which was great. And then the second

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    quarter, I

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    mean, each one had a different focus. And so, I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 9:13

    I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 9:13

    can run through them all. I don't need to, but, well, were they in different locations? Yes. Or were they all

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 9:18

    in the

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    same? No, no. They were all in different locations. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So, where was first quarter? So, first quarter,

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    spent three months in

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    Italy. The first month and again, this is we're talking about off season, right? The weather was good Most of the time it wasn't like Going in, right, like you

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    would right

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    now. But it was also people were thrilled to have you in their towns. They were thrilled for random people to turn up out of season. So, in March, I stayed in Assisi, in Umbria. In April,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 10:00

    I stayed

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    in a

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    called Salerno,

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    which is on the Amalfi Coast, and then in May, I flew over to Sardinia. And I stayed in Kaari, which is

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 10:13

    an unbel.

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    I mean

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    Sardinia

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    is a really

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 10:16

    unique place and not really like the rest

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    Italy. It's its own world over there. So, so I spent the first three months there. And again, just coming back to, you know, the financials of it. I had a beautiful two bedroom, enormous apartment in Assisi with a view of the entire valley. I had both a piano and an organ in

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 10:41

    in my

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    apartment because there are so many churches there. They have a lot of visiting musicians. But anyway, you know, that apartment, if you rent it by the month off season, is about 35 a day. So, all in, all in. That's, that's all of your, you know, high speed internet. It's beautifully furnished. And so that just kind of gives you an example is that's about a thousand dollars a month. for everything. Wow. And that's that's doable. So that's the kind of everything I did beyond that cost a little bit more. The other places cost a little more, but not much. I mean, I was staying on the Amalfi Coast. I think my apartment was Between 200 a month. Now that was a six story walk up. Oh, yeah. I had a great view. And great legs, I bet, too. Going back to that cardio that I needed. Well, I, I mean, I personally love to visit places in the off season. I, I love it. Super simple, not comparable to the Amalfi Coast, of course. But I have a friend who has a condo at the beach, and my My very favorite thing is to go in like January, February with her when it's bitter cold and windy and awful. That's my favorite, you know, that's my favorite time. I love that too. And I love the people that you find in those places. Yeah. Sort of a little bit more offbeat or just sort of more interesting, I think, than surrounding yourself with other tourists. So it's nice. I think there's a romance to that, right? To being there in the, in the unpopular time, right? Yeah. Well, I like that. I like that too. And that Assisi example, that was the first month out of my, year plus thing. And the host there was so nice to me that she invited me to her, her family's home for Sunday dinner on a couple of occasions. Her son in law's works

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    a

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    winery there and he, she set up wine tasting for me and that's the kind of stuff they won't have time to do in June or July. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're there in March. They really want to show you. you know, everything that they have there. So I felt like I was really lucky. Now I didn't expect it to be colder and rainier in April than in March because I traveled from Assisi down to the Amalfi Coast, which is like, you know, 400 kilometers south. And it rained quite

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 13:12

    a

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    bit that month, but I didn't really care, but I just wasn't, you know, you

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    have to

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    of

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    prepare if

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    traveling for a year. I had clothing to go take me from the snow to the summer, so I had to make sure that I, like, had, knew what I did. So I had to be really organized. That is so cool. I'm picturing like what you're carrying with you as you go on all of this. So quarter one,

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    just

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    kind of getting, you said getting in shape, but it's kind of mentally as well as physically, right? Yeah. Decompression. Decompression. I am all about decompression. So quarter one, Italy. Quarter two, where'd you head? Italy. Italy. So quarter two, I, and I had an idea in my head that I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 14:00

    might

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 14:01

    want to move back to San Francisco. So part of this year long thing was to make sure that I came out here and experienced it somewhat. So between each

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    quarter,

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    I would of course stop back in Maryland to visit my mom

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    a few

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    days. So I left. Nice. And drove cross country by myself across the South. So I took me through, you know, Tennessee and Natchez, Mississippi and across West Texas and Arizona and Palm Springs and stuff like that. And then I eventually arrived in San Francisco. And then after I spent my time out here, I drove cross country back across the north. So I came through Montana, Wyoming, South Dakota, and you know, that whole loop back that way. And a lot of the summer was I was working on, I'm trying to think of the name of the group, Trusted House Setters, and so this is an organization that's

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 15:05

    really

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    very interesting for people in my position who don't necessarily have a steady place to live and are flexible about moving around and caring

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    people's houses

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    and pets. And so

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    it's

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    a pretty great organization. It costs about I think it's about 100 a year, maybe something like that, 150 maybe, but so cool. Yeah. So you pay that amount and then you go through a background check and everyone who has a house does the same thing. And so they background check too. And then as soon as that's complete, which is very quick and easy, then their website is exactly like an Airbnb, except everything on is free. Oh my goodness. Yes. Yes. Yeah, so you can sort by, you can sort by location or dates, but you can also sort by like pets. Like, I don't want to take care of any dogs or, you know, I just like rabbits or whatever. There's a lot of like horse, horse farms in France, you know, places like that. It's global. So I ended up doing some of that through the summer out here on the West Coast. I guess I would say my theme for that quarter was really seeing whether coming back, you know, can you come back? Is there any coming back home again here? And after spending a number of weeks here, I definitely was, I decided,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 16:34

    I decided, I was like, yes,

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    I can, I would love to move back here. So I would say an extremely long road trip and sort of help planning for post sabbatical was part of my quarter two. That's incredible. And I'll tell you what, I'm going to put the trusted house sitters, I will put that in the show notes because I know you just mentioning it,

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    I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 16:57

    know there is someone out there who just felt like a tickle go down her

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    spine

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    because

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 17:03

    thinking, what?

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 17:04

    So, all right, so that's quarter two. Quarter three, where'd you go?

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 17:10

    So quarter

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 17:10

    three gosh, they were all rewarding, but this one may have been the most I don't know, Not spiritually rewarding, but I felt the best about it probably. So I went to my cousin's house and part of this whole sabbatical planning thing is really trying to figure out if you can figure out where

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 17:30

    you're

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    going to. Put your head down and go to sleep every night, the rest will come together. You know, so I was asking family and friends and, you know,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 17:39

    I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 17:39

    don't like to stay at people's houses because I feel like it's intrusive, but I just pulled out all the stops with everybody. I'm like, hey, I have an idea. Can I come stay with you for a while?

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 17:49

    Have you,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 17:50

    okay, have you changed your mind on that now that

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 17:53

    done it

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 17:54

    some? I'm not sure. I think. Not a hundred percent. I mean, it worked out great for me, but I think I brought everybody into here's my little year long adventure. Here's my statical thing. And you'd be

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 18:08

    amazed at how many

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 18:09

    people like want to be the hero in your story. I love having people

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 18:14

    stat.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 18:15

    Yeah. I love being the hero. I, I do. I'm, I'm totally see that.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 18:21

    I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 18:21

    love it. Like I have adult nieces and nephews and whatnot. And when one is like, we're going to, I'm like, yes. And

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 18:29

    like

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 18:30

    rolling out the red carpet. And I, I love when people come, I love to show the love. So it's so interesting. You're also a born entertainer. You know how to do it. Wow. And you're very good at it, so. As long as I can be in bed by nine, I'm solid. I'm ridiculous. My cousin lives out on Martha's Vineyard with her husband. Oh. And they have two kids. Again, we're talking about off season. And so I knew that they have a little a small rental unit that they close up after Labor Day. And it doesn't really get used again until the spring. And so she. My cousin, Kate, is an amazing woman who has started a non profit called the Island Autism Group, and it's for

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 19:20

    for individuals

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 19:21

    and family members of individuals who have autism. And there are quite a few on the island,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 19:29

    as there,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 19:29

    who live there year round, just like,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 19:31

    know, everywhere

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 19:31

    else.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 19:32

    I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 19:33

    think the latest numbers are that 1 in 45. Kit is, is diagnosed with some. you know, some area on the spectrum. And so she, her son has autism and she created this,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 19:49

    this

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 19:49

    organization. And the goal of it is to really focus on adults really. And, you know, there's, there's care and appropriate enrichment activities for that population really until they turn 22. And then when they turn 22, it's kind of over. And so her goal was to create a place for kids to come and do things, but also adults to actually live on a farm

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 20:21

    where they

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    grow. It's a, it's very self sustaining. So they have Chickens where they sell eggs at the farmer's market and flowers that they sell,

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    bouquets

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    at the farmer's market. But they have a whole bunch of other kind of workforce development things they're working on and it's beautiful. And so I was able to parlay this project into me going out there for three months and

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    helping

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    her with, you know, helping pick out paint colors. They're building it right

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 20:50

    now.

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    And There was a barn raising while I

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    there,

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    and I actually got chicken eggs out of the coop, which

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 20:58

    terrified

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 20:58

    But I did it. And sold them at the farmer's market.

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    and so, my

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 21:03

    gosh. Yeah, so it was an opportunity for me to volunteer a kind of not insignificant amount of time. A lot of that time that I was able to offer. I don't really know much about the island or its year round residents or

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 21:20

    autism

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 21:20

    for that sake, but I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 21:22

    a

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 21:22

    fair

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 21:23

    amount

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    at this point

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 21:24

    my

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 21:24

    life about nonprofit management, board governance, financials, succession planning. Yeah. So I my, my punishment for, All of

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 21:34

    that

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 21:35

    as I am now the finance chair on the board of the island. Ha ha ha! They're lucky to have you, because you do understand

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 21:42

    that.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 21:42

    Well, yeah, I mean, I think we have little areas of expertise, and, and I wanted to barter them, basically, for, in exchange for an absolutely beautiful place to stay off season, and so I was out

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 21:56

    there

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 21:57

    for three months. That was the third quarter. That's incredible. I mean, that's incredible. I've been to the vineyard and it's just, I mean, it's breathtaking. It's just so beautiful. All right,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 22:07

    so quarter

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 22:08

    four, where's your head? Quarter four I actually had to cut off a little part of

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 22:15

    end of

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 22:16

    that which I'll explain why in a second. But it was actually good that that happened at the end. So the fourth quarter started with me coming back to Maryland to spend the holidays. with my with my mother. And I got to travel up and down the East Coast and see lots of

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 22:33

    cousins

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 22:34

    that I hadn't seen. So Thanksgiving and Christmas, I had a lot of reconnection with family members, which was really wonderful. And then my last hurrah was supposed to be in Guatemala, where I have a family member who lives in Antigua, Guatemala. And I was going to go down there with my cousin and my cousin wanted to learn Spanish because her grandbabies are, are Spanish speaking. But unfortunately, there was an election there around that that became quite hotly contested and the incumbent.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 23:13

    Lost

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 23:14

    the election to a reform candidate

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 23:17

    but

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 23:18

    the guy who lost said, I'm not, I'm not leaving office. You

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 23:21

    just

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 23:21

    forget it. And so all this unrest happened and it was around that time and we were Unable to make the trip, which was okay. So I finished up a month early and and came out to San Francisco to my new home.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 23:35

    So,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 23:36

    that all, that's how it all worked out

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 23:37

    in

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 23:37

    the end.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 23:38

    And

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 23:38

    I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 23:38

    guess when you

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 23:38

    take all of that together, there's a bunch of little pieces. That happened, but I would say in the end, I think when

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 23:45

    put it

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 23:45

    all together, I'm, I'm in, you know, better shape, I'm happier I,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 23:51

    I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 23:51

    feel like I'm exactly

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 23:53

    where

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 23:53

    I should be, and I don't think that would happen

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 23:55

    I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 23:55

    hadn't, like, gone on this walkabout. Yeah, yeah. I, I mean, I, I think it gives you such opportunity to look at

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 24:05

    perspective

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 24:06

    and change your perspective and adapt and kind of figure from there. But my question for you is what, I mean, having a structure, a loose structure was really beneficial to you. Right?

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 24:21

    What

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 24:22

    advice would you give to the gal who's out there who you just pushed her over the edge and she's, she's ready to do this and embrace this? What, you know, what would be your

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 24:38

    one

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 24:39

    big piece of advice?

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 24:41

    I,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 24:42

    you know, I've talked to a fair number of women about this. I think it's, this seems

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 24:48

    to have

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 24:48

    struck a chord

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 24:49

    a

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 24:49

    lot of people of our age, because I'm an old

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 24:51

    bag,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 24:52

    too.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 24:52

    I'll be

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 24:56

    60 in a couple of

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 24:57

    months.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 24:58

    I'm going to be 57 in a couple of months, but. But you look incredible. I look like a crumpled paper bag. Oh my god. But I, I love calling, I love calling myself an old bag. I do. I embrace it. Awesome. Yeah. I embrace it. So, all right. Number one piece. I guess all of that actually ties into the advice I was going to say a lot of women I've,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 25:25

    I've

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 25:25

    met or who've asked me about this adventure have A lot of fear about doing it and the fear that I seem

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 25:36

    hear more

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 25:38

    often than anything else, is just guilt about it. They just want permission, you know. It's not like people are not afraid of traveling around the world and people are not afraid. I mean, I'm generalizing here. Sure. And other people, you know, are not really at the point where they're worried about the financial piece of it, like

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 26:00

    I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 26:00

    kind

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 26:01

    was

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 26:02

    But,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 26:03

    They're afraid

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 26:04

    of people looking down on them if they put themselves first. They're afraid of what will my family think. Sometimes there is, you know, a partner

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 26:18

    that

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 26:18

    they are worried about, you know, wouldn't be supportive of this but they want to go alone. And a lot of it's just sort of like, People are going to look down on me if I indulge myself in this way, and I, I've gotten

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 26:35

    a

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 26:35

    lot especially, you know, there's, I've, I've met a number of women who are widows and they actually have the means to do this, but they just think it wouldn't look right. And

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 26:47

    Oh no!

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 26:48

    my advice is just to, you know,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 26:51

    stop

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 26:51

    caring about that, you know, I, I think doing something like this for yourself is actually doing everybody around you a favor too. And, you know, you're getting yourself kind of

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 27:03

    a lot

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 27:03

    more focused and

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 27:04

    that

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 27:05

    everybody around you understand you better. But I've heard that a lot. I've heard a lot of women like, Oh, I could never do that. I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 27:13

    to,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 27:14

    you know, chair the whatever, whatever committee meeting once a month, you know, and

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 27:19

    people

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 27:20

    you know, people don't care if you don't do

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 27:22

    that. I mean,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 27:22

    you're, there are certain moments in your life where everything kind of aligns. Like in my case, it was like, you know, I don't have to take care of somebody after school right now. I'm not in

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 27:35

    a job

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 27:35

    that I see myself in very much longer. And I'm in a community that I don't think

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 27:41

    is

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 27:41

    actually where I want to put

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 27:42

    roots.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 27:43

    And there's

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 27:44

    points

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 27:45

    in your life when, when that

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 27:46

    of

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 27:46

    stuff lines up, you know, you have to go for it. So that would be my advice is

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 27:52

    don't

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 27:52

    be afraid. Just, just start and start if you don't have to like go across the world either. You could start like what you're saying is go to the beach, you know, do your own thing for a few days or set something up, but be really I kind of hate this word intentional, but,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 28:07

    but

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 28:07

    be intentional about it. Like plan,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 28:10

    plan what

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 28:11

    you want to get out of it and

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 28:12

    then

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 28:12

    go do it. Oh, I love that. I I hate the word passion, just so you know, just that you hate intentional. I hate passion. I hate it. I hate it so much. But I, I, I totally. Embrace what you're saying because I have said it to

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 28:30

    too

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 28:30

    about It's

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 28:32

    of,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 28:32

    if not now, when, right?

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 28:34

    Right.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 28:35

    And it's also, I just don't care as much. I can't say I don't care, but I can say I don't care as much because the people that I love and love me, they know who I am. They know what I'm going for. And I think with all the relatives that you've been able to stay with and all of that, I think you've got the same thing there. Yeah, totally. And I think, I think if you sort of think about it, In this more holistic way of thinking about here's whatever period of time you feel like

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:09

    can

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:09

    take to

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:10

    it.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:10

    Like, think about everybody in your life, you know, and think about

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:15

    people

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:15

    that maybe you

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:17

    miss

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:18

    connecting

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:18

    or spending

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:19

    time with, you know, my cousin and Martha's Vineyard. She and

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:21

    grew

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:22

    up together and

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:22

    were

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:23

    really close, but we hadn't really spent time together in 25 years, probably at least. And so think about people like that, or think about. the talent that you have that you might be able to lend

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:36

    others.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:36

    You're

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:36

    I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:37

    don't

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:37

    to

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:37

    get

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:37

    for

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:38

    it, but I do want, you know, some lead on

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:42

    place

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:42

    to stay for a month

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:43

    two,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:43

    you know? Yeah. Yeah. Like cast your net really wide and

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:47

    be

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:47

    surprised how much is out there.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 29:51

    Okay.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 29:51

    I know you've been asked this question. I absolutely know you have. Are you writing a book? Oh, I have been asked

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 30:00

    question.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 30:01

    I'm actually, no, I'm not writing a book.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 30:04

    Okay.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 30:05

    But I will tell you that there are, a couple of ideas floating around about more of a television

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 30:12

    idea.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 30:12

    Oh, I love it. Yeah, so I love it. I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 30:15

    done

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 30:15

    anything with that yet but I do have some people in that world that are, have asked

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 30:22

    that.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 30:22

    So, yeah. Maybe. Oh, I love

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 30:25

    It's,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 30:26

    it's like the, I know

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 30:27

    heard

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 30:28

    comparisons to Eat

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 30:29

    Love.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 30:29

    Yeah. But it's more, I don't know, I, I almost feel like it's deeper on

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 30:35

    certain

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 30:35

    level. Nothing against Elizabeth Gilbert. I will forever read everything she writes. She, I love her. But it's, you know, I think when your kid goes and then you had a divorce that you were dealing with, it's just. I don't know. It's just such a, an opportunity and I, I love that you've seized it so much. Now I love what you're doing with Empty

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:00

    Kitchen

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:01

    and just the way that

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:04

    you're

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:04

    looking at this time in your life is,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:09

    Exactly

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:09

    how I look at it, too. And I, you know, I hear sometimes women say, like, after you turn whatever age that you're invisible or whatever, or they feel sort

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:20

    disappointed

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:21

    about that. And honestly, I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:23

    not

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:23

    care less about that. And I actually love it. The stuff you can do When you're invisible is

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:30

    awesome.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:31

    It's so cool, right? Yes, and I will, I love, I love the fact that at this age, you know, I don't really care what, yeah, you

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:43

    I

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:43

    don't really

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:43

    what

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:43

    the world thinks of me. Of course, I want to, it's important to me to be a, you know,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:48

    a

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:48

    good human being

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:49

    a

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:49

    nice person and all that

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:51

    of

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:51

    stuff. But when you get

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:53

    be

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:53

    this age, you can really not worry about a lot of stuff that maybe mattered once, but doesn't matter

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 31:59

    you

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 31:59

    anymore. And it's a great time of life. It is. I think I am happier now than I have ever been. And I know part of it is,

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 32:10

    kids

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 32:10

    are hard. Like, I don't care if you have like a gold star, perfect child. They're, you know, kids are hard. Raising

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 32:18

    kid

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 32:19

    with someone else. is hard. Raising a kid on your own is hard. Kids are just tough. So I think you develop this freedom when you set them off in the world and they're doing their own thing and you know you can trust who they are and what they're doing. And even if you can't, that's their call now, right? I love the freedom of it. I, I love so much freedom, and I love not caring. That's, I mean, heck, I started a podcast, for heaven's sake. Who cares? Excellent, by

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 32:51

    way.

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 32:51

    Oh, stop it. Well, I could not be more delighted. I'm just so thrilled that you agreed to do this, and whatever you produce, write talk

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 33:02

    on

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 33:02

    podcast about, I will be the first person in line to read, listen, or watch because I just admire your chutzpah and your, you know, bravery as, as you charge forth. So thank you for being on today. Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. Oh my gosh, you're amazing. Alright everyone, so I am gonna put

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 33:26

    links

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 33:26

    in the show notes and I hope

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 33:29

    you were as

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 33:30

    enthralled with every word that Elizabeth

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 33:33

    saying as

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 33:34

    I was because this is the attitude

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording(1): 33:37

    we

    GMT20240801-181421_Recording: 33:37

    need in our emptiness life. So thank you and everyone. I will see you in the kitchen.

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Ep 19: Exploring Reformer Pilates with Dawn Conine