Finding New Purpose…or Not
When I walked through the doors of The Kitchen Studio Cooking School for the final time in late August, I knew that I was in for HUGE change. After all, the business that I had poured everything into, and I mean everything, for the past 15 years no longer existed in the form I had created. Sure, we’ve moved things online and are offering really fun (really!) online cooking classes for the masses, but it’s still a massive change.
I’m a good mom, sometimes great, sometimes so-so, but really, I know I’m good at the job, even with the kids grown and all but on their own (just six more college apartment rent payments…). I’m a really good wife too, so I feel pretty secure there as well. But my real identity, my favorite, is a business owner. Good gravy, do I love owning a business! I love bringing together astoundingly talented staff, creating something from nothing, and working directly with my customers and students. I love working with the folks that pump out the greasetrap and fix the equipment, and I love negotiating and being sure not to be taken advantage of. Love it! And I miss it oh so much.
Now, even though classes are still offered on the weekends, during the week, it’s a whole lotta nothing. I wait each day for the day just to be over, then get up, rinse, and repeat the next day. It feels like the last 10 months (truly, the last 4, post heart attack) have just evaporated. It doesn’t feel like depression, but more stagnation, with my feet firmly stuck in the mud.
I have nothing to show for my time. No great tome that’s been lurking inside, just waiting for my schedule to open a bit, no great health and fitness routine, no spectacularly clean house. Instead, I now have a TikTok addiction and pat myself on the back when I wear real pants. Oh how the mighty have fallen!
My husband John has been teaching from a spare bedroom, and I’ve learned more freshman English now than when I was actually a freshman. My daughter Anna has an internship and participates in meetings over Zoom from her bedroom. I’m incredibly jealous of my sister-in-law whose job hasn’t slowed a bit; she’s just working remotely. My nice neighbors are both working full time from spare bedrooms. And the list goes on. I can’t even throw my time into caring for my aging mother because I’m afraid that I’ll kill her with my mere presence.
So what’s a girl to do?
Aside from the heart attack, and closing the doors of TKSCS, there is a global pandemic raging, and I’m certain that this is a huge chunk of the angst/wishy-washy-ness/uncertainty that I’m feeling. I know I’m not alone and that we’re all struggling (I won’t believe you if you tell me that everything is fantastic in your world).
So, I’m looking for your tips. Your tricks. The little things you’re doing that are helping you to continue to move forward, even if only at a snail’s pace. How are you getting through? How are you progressing? Are you progressing or are you wallowing, waiting for each day to end, like me? Tell me in the comments below.
I know that I’ve got a lot to offer. I am me after all. (*cue insane laugh track and sarcasm font). It’s just that now I’m in a valley, really hoping to start climbing again to hit another peak. The climb is the most fun part. I’ve got loads of clever ideas, but no motivation to put them into action. And if you get credit for buying the planners and journals, well give me an A+, because I am pro level (haven’t cracked a one, but I’ve got ’em!)!
Let’s start simple: I commit to offering free mini cooking classes, starting on the Empty Nest Kitchen FB page soon. I’ll post an ingredient list and recipe, and we’ll have some fun cooking together. Of course, if you just want to watch, you can do that too. First date is TBD, because, well, I fell down on the job a bit (sorry!).I just treated myself to a snazzy new air fryer, and I’m excited to start playing with it a bit. If there is anything specific you’d like to learn, let me know and I’ll see what I can do.
This air fryer is massive! I chose this one because it also dehydrates and I’ve been wanting to play with that for a little while. Woo hoo!
Stay sane and stay well, and of course, wear a mask,
cvb
